Do You Love Me? When Your Worst Failure Isn't Your Final Word

There's a specific kind of morning that comes after you failed somebody you love. You know the one. You wake up and for about three seconds you forget about it, and then it lands on you all over again.It's that thing you said, that thing you didn't do the moment you had a chance to stand up and you just sat down instead. Now, Peter knew that morning, three days before this, he stood by a fire in a courtyard and swore three separate times that he'd never met Jesus.I mean, he was cursing, he was insisting, I don't know the man. And then a rooster crowed. And at that very moment, Jesus turned and looked at him and we know the story.Peter went out and wept like his chest was breaking open. So here's where I need you to sit with today. If your worst failure got to write the ending of your story. Peter's ending is a coward by a fire.But that's not how the story ends. Because a few mornings later, on a beach, Jesus lit another fire and he was cooking breakfast. Hello and welcome to Truth Unveiled.I'm Ralph Estep Jr. I'm so glad you're here today, especially if you came today carrying something heavy, because that's what we're going to talk about today.And I want to say something bold from the beginning. Your worst failure is not your final word. And I want you to lean into that today, because that's what this is all about today.And I know it feels like it is, because shame is the loudest voice in the room. Shame says to us one thing. This is who you are now, and it's all you'll ever be. But shame is a liar.And on a beach, over a charcoal fire, Jesus proved it. Now let's get right into the word, because I want you to hear exactly what happened. This one comes from the book of John, chapter 21, verses 9 to 17.Now, I'm using the World English Bible here, so it's a little bit different, but it's again, John 21:9, 17. So when they came out of the land, they saw a fire of coals there with fish and bread laid on it.Jesus said to them, bring some of the fish which you have just caught. Simon Peter went up and drew the net to land full of 153 great fish. Even there, there were so many, the net wasn't torn.And Jesus said to them instantly, he said, come and eat breakfast. Now. None of the disciples dared inquire of him, who are you? Knowing that it was the Lord.So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon, peter, Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me more than these? He said to him, yes, Lord, you know that I have affection for you. He said to him, feed my lambs.And he said to him again a second time, simon, son of Jonah, do you love me? He said to him again, yes, Lord, you know that I have affection for you. He said to him, tend my sheep.He said to him the third time, simon, son of Jonah, do you have affection for me? And Peter was grieved because he had asked him the third time, do you have affection for me? And he said to him, lord, you know everything.You know that I have affection for you. Jesus said to him, feed my sheep. Now, I think it's interesting that Jesus chose three questions here. This isn't some accident.Go back to what we talked about, beginning for three denials. Jesus brought him back. So let's get started with the final word. And that's the word lie. I want to talk about that first.Because if you think about this story in context of your own life, it doesn't feel like the rescue was honest until you recognize the trap. And the lie is this. And I said this very boldly at the beginning. Your worst moment is not the truest thing about you. That's a lie, friend.Everyone has a fire. They stand next to all of us, have those moments we'd rather take back, those things we'd rather undo.And the enemy right now, as you watch this or listen to this, doesn't want you to heal from it. He wants you to build a house right next to it. Now, I want to share a story with you. When I was 8 years old, my parents split up.And I'll never forget when my dad was leaving the house, what he said to me. He said, son, you're now man of the house.Let me tell you right now, at 8 years old, I had no concept of what that meant, but I grew a little bit each day realizing what that meant. It meant that I had an obligation to keep the family financially afloat, keep the emotional consistency in the family. Listen, I'm a third grader.At the time, I had no understanding of what he was really saying to me. When he said, son, you're the man of the house. I didn't know what that meant.I know he was leaving, but the pressure that put on me, I had no understanding of what I was getting into. And it felt like I'd collapse if I got it wrong. I was that kid that decided, if it falls apart, it's my fault.And I'm going to tell you right now, that voice doesn't leave when you grow up. It just changes outfits. And to be honest with you, I've carried it for years.I've always been one mistake away from everyone finding out that I wasn't enough. And I've spent 30 years sitting across the desk. For those of you that know me, I'm an accountant by trade. This is what I do.The number on the page when I talk to people about bookkeeping, accounting and finance is usually not what's breaking a person. It's the story they tell themselves about it. And I've heard it so many times, I'm a failure. I ruined it. This is who I am now.That's Peter's Courtyard from John 18. Just picture this. Peter was standing before a charcoal fire. Now we're going to. We're going to come back to the word charcoal, because it's important.He was warming his hands. And three times they reached out to Peter and said, aren't you one of his? And three times Peter denied him. He buried the truth.And by the time the rooster crowed, Peter has a story, doesn't he? He has a set of what he is now. His own self image is what now. He's a coward. He's a traitor. And he failed the moment that mattered the most to him.And he lived in shame. But here's the problem with shame. Shame is never going to let you serve God.You can still serve God to some capacity, but shame won't let you do it, won't let you rest in being loved. And I just want you to think deep down right now, we're going to fast forward the story. Now. Peter sees Jesus on the beach. He sees that fire.I got to be honest with you. Maybe at first Peter probably thought, man, I'm going to walk away from this because, man, it went right back to the shame, right back to that.Those denials of Jesus just a few days before that. But let me ask you a question right now. What's your courtyard? What's that thing you just rather not think about anymore?What is your whole life been built on that's been a lie from the beginning? What's that fire that you warm your hands on?I want you to hold that thought for a second because Jesus is walking to the beach, and he's not walking to the beach to talk about the weather. Let's get to the second part of what I'm going to talk about today. I want to talk about the fire that Jesus lit on purpose.Because you got to watch what Jesus does here. Because most people just read right past it. Honestly, I read right past it the first time as well. But if we look at John 21:9, think about this.Picture this in your own mind. Jesus's disciples reached the shore and the fires there, waiting. And John, who's the eyewitness that wrote this, uses a specific word.I said this earlier. He uses the word a charcoal fire. Fire. Now, I'm going to tell you, I did a little research.In the entire New Testament, that exact word, charcoal fire, for that kind of fire shows up only two times. You already guess where they are. It's in John 18, in the courtyard where Peter denied him. And then in John 21, on the beach where Jesus restores him.He built the same fire on purpose. See, Jesus didn't avoid the scene of the worst moment. Jesus actually recreated it. He didn't heal, pretending it never happened. He walks us back.He stands there and he just won't leave his side. See, that lie of shame says, never speak of it again. But Grace says something so much more important.It says, let's go back to the fire together because I have something to say to you there. So just picture this. Peter denied Christ three times just a couple days before this, in front of that charcoal fire. And as soon as Peter's wife.If it was me. If it was you. We're walking on the beach, we see this charcoal fire. We go, oh, boy, here we go again. What is going to happen now?But Jesus took them there intentionally. And here, as we talked about a few minutes ago, Jesus asked three questions for three denials.And this wasn't Jesus taking Peter and rubbing his nose in it. He wasn't allowed to unsay it.I truly believe what Jesus was doing was building a new memory for Peter, brick by brick, on the exact spot the old ones lived. And if you notice the words Jesus never said. How could you? He never said that. He never said, I expected better from you, Peter.He simply makes him breakfast. And if we go to Romans, chapter 8, verse 1, it says there. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.I don't know about you, but me. And that makes me feel a lot better. Doesn't it feel better for you? No condemnation. No. Not reduced, not probationary.Not while I restore you if you do these things. None of that. Now, this isn't overlooking it. It took it to a different fire. The fire was the cross. And that's where Jesus settled it.See, in the world that we live In. That's why I call this truth unveiled. It's all about breaking down culture.The world that we live in gives you a second chance, but only if you earn it. If you've done the things, check the boxes, somehow restored yourself.Only Jesus walks you back to that same fire, cooks you breakfast, and calls you by name before you say a single word. And here's the whole beauty part of the whole story.I call this from the fire to the flock, because after each yes, as Jesus is walking him through this, do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me? He says, yes. And what does Jesus do? He gives them a job. You notice after each one, he says, feed my lambs.Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep. And this is the whole point of this, because restoration comes with a commission. You think about it like this.Jesus is taking the man who failed most publicly in front of so many people. And what does Jesus do? He makes him the shepherd, the guy who cracked under pressure. Jesus appoints him to be the shepherd.The shepherd who knows he was carried is gentle with the sheep who stumbled because he stumbled himself before. This isn't happenstance. This is Jesus restoring a man because he knew the tenderness that Peter now had.Now I want to take you back to my own struggle. If you've listened to my show, you know I've recently gone through a huge lightweight loss.Just a few years back, I was carrying £200 I shouldn't have carried. I had type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, to be blunt, my health wasn't great. And I was hearing that same courtyard voice.Now, I'm not trying to compare my. My weight loss or my physical health to that which Peter and Dan denying Jesus, not at all.But I was in that same courtyard and I was hearing that same voice in my own head. It was telling me, this is who you are, Ralph. This is what you are, Ralph. This is your ending.But friend, I'm going to tell you right now, that wasn't the final word. And as I sit here today recording this, I've lost nearly £200. I've reversed diabetes. Not because I'm special. I'm not special in all of this.To be very candid with you two January's ago, I hit my knees and prayed. I said, lord, I can't do this on my own anymore. I need you to carry me. And that's when I was restored.Because I decided to believe the failure wasn't the end for me. And your failure doesn't have to be the end for you today either.And now when I sit with someone whose body or bank account or who have made bad decisions and they've already decided that that's the ending, I don't have to guess how they feel, because I've stood by that fire just like they have. And that's why I often say the word. I want to put my arm around the shoulder. I want to tell you it's going to be okay.And I've got tools to help you get there. The thing that you're most ashamed of right now makes you gentle with everyone else that's been at that same fire.Peter figured it out, and years later he writes a letter. And we're going to go right to that. We're going to go to First Peter, chapter 5, verse 10.He says, but may the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a little while, perfect, Establish, strengthen and settle you. I just want to lean into those words a little bit because they're so very important. Establish. That's what Jesus did for Peter.He re established a man who was broken, who denied the very man that he was led to serve. And what did he do? He asked him, does he love him? And he gave him a commission. He gave him a job. He strengthened him and he settled it.See, that's a man that understands grace. That's a man that understands restoration. That's the man who is the shepherd. He took the coward from the courtyard.And let's just be honest, that's what Peter was. He was the coward from the courtyard and he became the shepherd of the church.Your failure, whatever that is right now that you got on your mind and your heart. If you hand that over to Jesus right at this moment, friend, that becomes your ministry. Now, I want to get quiet for just a minute.I want you to go back to what we talked about a little while ago. I want you to picture your fire. Your fire is not the same as Peter's. My fire wasn't the same as Peter's.I want you to picture that real one, not that polished version you've shared in your small Bible groups or you shared with your counselor. I'm talking about the one you actually think about at 2 in the morning. You got a mental picture of that.And I just want you to hear that question aimed at you over that fire. Do you love me? Do you love me? Because Jesus is calling out to you right now. He doesn't ask, do you have it all together?He doesn't ask, have you fixed it yet? He doesn't ask, do you deserve to be here? He asks the one question you can actually answer, even broken, do you love me?Maybe right now you're still in the courtyard, warming your hands on shame. But, friend, I got to tell you, breakfast is ready on the beach. That failure you decided is bigger is not bigger than his grace.And you can never make a doctrine out of your own unworthiness that the cross can't overrule. The cross settled it. Let me ask you right now, what would change on Monday if you actually believe what I just said?If you actually believe there is no condemnation left for you? Not less. None. Wow. And see, here's the truth unveiled for today. Jesus doesn't just restore you by erasing the fire.He restores you by meeting you right at it. Your worst failure is not your final word. Because Jesus lit a fire on the beach. He cooked you breakfast and handed you a flock.Grace doesn't wait at the courtyard for you to clean up. It walks down to the water to bring you home. Now, maybe you're listening right now, and you're thinking about, you know what, Ralph?I've never actually met the one who lights that fire. And you've carried the shame, you know, the courtyard, but you've never walked down to the beach. Friend, this can be your morning right now.The gospel doesn't tell us to clean yourself up. Then God accepts you. Jesus went to the fire himself. Now, his fire was the cross.And on that cross, he took every denial, he took every failure, he took every 2am regret. And he settled it once and for all. And he walked out of that grave three days later to stand on a beach and ask you, friend, do you love me?If something in your heart right now, I want you to say yes. I want you to pray with me. I don't have any special words. It's not some grating equation here. I just want you to pray with me, some simple words.I want you to say this out loud wherever you are right now. Jesus, I've been standing by my own fire. I've been carrying things I was never meant to carry.And I believe you went to the cross for my failures, Lord, and you rose again. And, Lord, I can't fix myself. But when you ask me the question, do I love you? Yes, Lord, I do love you.And I'm walking down to the beach to meet you right there. Lord, I just ask right now that you would take this shame from me. Erase those doubts, Lord, and give me your grace from this moment forward.Lord, I'm yours. And I ask this in your name. Amen, friend. If you prayed that, if you really prayed that a minute, I want you to tell somebody.You can reach out to me at truthunveiledwithralph.com/decision, but tell somebody. Go find a church. Find a believer you can trust. There's a lot of us out there that would love to talk to you.Because the next thing Jesus does after you. Do you love me? What did he do? He gave Peter a purpose. And I'm here to tell you right now, Jesus has a purpose for your life.You weren't meant to walk this alone. Now, I want you to carry something into this week. I want you to stop living in the courtyard. The fire is already lit.And when shame tells you your worst moment is the truest thing about you, look it right in the eyes and tell it about a charcoal fire, a breakfast, and three questions that undid three denials. Remember who you truly are in Christ. Not the failure. You're the shepherd. And you are restored on purpose. What did John 21, verse 17 say?Jesus said to him. Feed my sheep. See, that's the voice that gets the last word, not the rooster. How about we close in prayer today?Father, I just want to thank you that you don't leave us in the courtyard. And for that one drowning right now in affair they can't forgive, Lord 1 walk them to the beach, show them that there is no condemnation left.And for that one that's been serving for years, Lord, but. But never resting in being loved. I want you to break that shame, Lord, and.And let that do you love me be enough for them and for the one carrying a weight that was never theirs. I just think back to that scared child caring what adults should have never put on them. Set them down gently, Lord.And for the ones who have made doctrine of their own unworthiness, show them the cross, Lord. And for the ones who prayed to meet you today as your word said, Lord, I. I just.I just ask that you would establish them, that you would strengthen them, Lord, settle them and hand them a flock. Lord, we love you so much. We know you know everything about us, Lord, and you know that we love you. And I just ask this in Jesus name. Amen.Now I want to encourage you today. Today was very powerful. And I just want you to think about one person that you know in your life who's standing by a fire right, right now.I want you to send this to that person because that's how this ministry grows. One arm around his shoulder at a time. I encourage you subscribe to the show and come back next time on Truth unveiled.Remember, your worst failure is not your final word. The fire is already lit and breakfast is ready. God bless you, and I'll see you next time.