"Fully Known, Fully Loved" – The Conversation That Changed Everything

There's a version of you that almost nobody gets to see. That real version, the stuff underneath the highlight reel, the things you've done that you've never say out loud.The parts of your story you've gotten very good at hiding because you're convinced of one thing. If people really knew, I mean, if they knew all of it, they would just leave. So you manage it, you put on a show.You show the acceptable version, and you keep the conversation in the shallow end of the pool. But you carry this quiet, exhausting fear that being fully known and being fully loved can't happen to the same person at the same time.Well, today I want to tell you about a woman who went to a well at noon. It was the heat of the day, and she did it specifically so she wouldn't have to see anybody.This was a woman with a reputation, a woman who built her whole life around not being fully seen. And a stranger sat down at the well and in just one conversation, told her everything she'd ever done.And instead of running from her, he offered her living water. She came to that well hiding. She left it running towards the whole town, saying, come see a man who told me everything about myself.Hello, and welcome to Truth Unveiled. I'm Ralph Estep Jr. I am super glad you're here, especially if there's a version of you that you've been hiding.And I want you to hold this before I've earned it, because this is the whole central theme of today's show. You can be fully known and fully loved at the same time. In fact, maybe be bold. That's the only love worth having.But in our culture today, most of us settle for just one or the other of those things. We feel like we can be loved by those who don't fully know us, are fully hidden and fully alone.But Jesus at that well, offered a third thing she didn't think existed. Completely known and completely loved at the same time. Let me read to you how it happened. I'm going to go to the primary text for today.It's from the Book of John, chapter 4, verses 7 to 14. And this is from the World English Bible. And this is what it says again, John 4, 7, 14. A woman of Samaria came to draw water.Jesus said to her, give me a drink. The Samaritan woman, therefore, said to him, how is it that you, being a Jew, asked for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?Now, I'm going to put in context here, for Jews had no dealings with Samaritans. And Jesus answered her.He said, if you knew the gift of God and who it is it who says to you, give me a drink, you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water. The woman said to him, sir, you have nothing to draw with, and the well is very deep, so where do you get that living water?And Jesus answered her, everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give you, he will never thirst again.But the water that I will give you will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life. Just think about her at the well. It was noon. She came to fill a jar and get out before anyone saw her.And Jesus is about to give her something she didn't know she was even thirsty for. Well, I want to start by talking about the woman who came at noon. Because when I first read through this, I was like, okay, big deal.It's the noon time of the day. Why does this matter? But it does matter, because every detail in this story is loaded, and if you miss any of them, you missed the whole thing.So it says in the story that she comes at noon. And you might be asking, okay, well, what's the big deal about that? Well, nobody drew water at noon. Why? Because it's the hottest part of the day.Women came in the cool morning or in the evening, and they came together with sort of a social event.They would all go down to the well with their clay pots and fill them up in the morning, in the evening, because they didn't want to do it in the hot of the day. And this woman knew that. That's why she was alone. She figured, if I do it at noon, I'd be all by myself. She was avoiding people.She was timing her life around the neighbors who knew her story. See, that's the whole point of this. That social event for the other woman wouldn't work for her because in her mind, they knew her story.And if we get back into it, the first thing that Jesus says to her, he gently brings up her husbands. Now, I use the word husbands because there were five. And then he said to her, boldly, said, the man now that you're with isn't your husband.And what he was doing, he was peering into her world. A world that was a life of scandal, a life of loss, a life of being talked about, a cautionary tale.But she was there at noon when nobody was around, because she wanted to feel safety. And in that emptiness, there was safety. But I need you to understand something. Right now, you're not alone because nobody's around.You're alone because you've made sure nobody gets in.Now, I talked about it a little bit, but let's talk about the whole Samaritan and Jew thing, because actually, this is a really interesting concept here. Back in those times, Jews had no dealings with Samaritans. There was this deep generational hostility. These folks hated each other.They wouldn't even communicate with each other. They wouldn't draw having any eye contact. And then add to this a woman. Yes. Back then it was a different situation.A Jewish teacher wouldn't be caught in public conversating with a woman, let alone a Samaritan woman. She was the wrong ethnicity, she was the wrong gender. And listen, her reputation, no way that would work.And every rule at the time would say he shouldn't speak to her. But yet what does he do? He starts the conversation and he asks her for a drink. What Jesus did was he crossed every single barrier.Now, let me tell you about my story at noon. Now, it's nowhere near this story, but my whole work, everything I do as an accountant, I meet people at noon all the time.Not literally, not at noon time of the day, and not at some well. But the posture that they're bringing so many people, I see that someone comes in to meet with me.They sit across the desk for me and they talk about money. And I've seen it myself. They kind of brace themselves, they feel ashamed.And they're coming at an emotional high noon for them because they don't want anyone else to see the mess. And I've spent 30 years watching people carry money shame like the most disqualifying secret on the planet. Let me tell you something right now.If you've struggled with money issues, you're not alone in that. I have a master's degree in business and I've struggled with money issues. And I've wanted to be alone at noon.And the last thing a person needs is another villager confirming their reputation. And that's what this lady assumed.She said, oh, if I go out there during the normal times, in the morning and the evening, the villagers were going to say, oh, you are that woman. I never say that to my people either.Because what people need is someone to cross that desk and sit right down next to them in full truth, not even flinch, and not lecture and say to them, I see all of it, and you're not disqualified. So here's my honest question for you right now. What's the. Well, you come to at noon.What is that part of you that you come to in secret, alone, because you're so afraid of your reputation? And what part of your story have you arranged your whole life around hiding?Because you're very sure that if it were fully known, you'd be fully alone? I want you to hold that for a second, because Jesus is about to do the one thing she spent her whole life avoiding. And I love this part of the story.He told her everything and she still stayed. He said it right. He said it from the jump. He said, go call your husband. And what she say right away she says, I have no husband.And he says to her, right, five husbands, and the man you're with now isn't even yours. Just think about that for a second. She had spent her whole life running from this exact moment, that moment that somebody knows her.And every instinct within her braced for what she thought was coming next. She just assumed there would be judgment. That face that gave her a scowl and changes, it makes her want to leave.But the beauty of this story is that doesn't come. It never comes. Jesus names her whole story, the part she came at noon to hide. But he doesn't get up and leave. He doesn't give her her a lecture.He doesn't shame her. In fact, he keeps talking to her and he offers her something amazing. And listen, you can have this same thing too. He offers her living water.And he stays. And for the first time in her life, maybe ever, somebody knew everything about her. They knew the whole unedited truth and they stayed anyway.And her whole world changed because she got fully known and fully loved in the same breath. He didn't drag it out of her. He didn't hold it over her. He knew before he even asked. And some people would say, well, maybe he was catching her.No, Jesus was showing her he already knew the worst and he was still sitting there. This is the God of the Bible. Let's look at the Book of Psalms, chapter 139, verses 1 to 4. Again from the World English Bible.It says, yahweh, you have searched me and you know me. You know my sitting down, you know my rising up. You perceive my thoughts from afar.You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all of my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue. But behold, Yahweh, you know it all together. And I just want to key into that phrase right there.You know it all together at that. Well, Jesus knew the thing that she feared the most before she even got There. And Jesus knows the thing that you fear most before you woke up.There's no version of you can hide from him and the gospel underneath that which is the absolute hope of the message today. There is no version of you that he will hide from. I've shared it on the show before.My favorite book of the Bible is Romans in general, but Romans, chapter 5, verse 8, World English Bible says, but God commends his own love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And just think about that for a second.While we were in sin, while we were that woman coming to the well, he loved us and he looked at the full, unedited truth. Jesus knew that noon trip. I really believe he was there to see her because he knew he wanted to talk to her.He knew she was coming there alone when wasn't expecting anybody, much less a Jewish rabbi, a Jewish teacher. He knew she had five husbands. He knew she was hiding in the heat. And Jesus laid down his life for exactly that same person.You've never been loved by a God on the basis of a version of you that isn't real. So how do we put down the water jar? I just think of myself and I think of what if that was me? What if that was me that was coming to that well?And here's Jesus sitting here and he knew everything about me, but yet said, Ralph, come sit down with me, let's talk. I mean, can you imagine the love of that? I mean, this is a woman, if you think about it.This is a woman that avoided everybody in the village because they all looked at her. I'm sure they pointed her, they made snickering comments.But yet here was the savior of the universe telling her, I know all of your story and guess what? I still love you and I'm still going to give you this living order.And if you're feeling that right now, I want to give you some ideas of how to break free from that. One of the first things you can do is stop performing for a love you already have.There's so much exhaustion in the work of hiding who you really are, managing that image, keeping people in the shallow wind. If God knows the worst, and trust me, he knows the worst, but he loves you anyway. The performance is over.You can stop the most tiring job in the world. Jesus just told you you're fired from it. Stop hiding. The truth is already out there and he still loves you anyway.Now one of the impactful things you can do, and you can't do this with Everybody, I'm going to warn you ahead of time. You got to be careful. But let one safe person see one true thing. Now, I believe on social media, people show way too much stuff.That's not what I'm saying. You got to be careful about that. Being fully known by God doesn't mean dumping your whole life story on everybody.You ever met somebody that when you come to them, they tell you everything and you're like, wow, I can't believe they just said that to me. I think that's a mistake. I think you got to be careful about it. You got to use wisdom.The Bible talks many times about being wise, but that one person, because not everybody's earned it. No, you don't. You got to be somebody that understands you, somebody that's giving you that. That. That love.But, friend, you weren't made to carry it entirely alone either. So find that one safe person. Maybe that's a pastor in your church, maybe that's a counselor, a trusted friend.And let them see that one true hidden thing. Don't dump everything on them at once. Give them a little bit and see how they take.And if there's somebody that's out gossiping, you know, that's not your person. But I say that because here's the thing I've learned over my entire life. I'm 53 years old, and here's what I've learned. Shame in the dark grows.It metastasizes because it's hidden. But shame in the light with one safe person will lose its grip. Now, I want to talk about my own noon trips.I want to share with you some seasons that I'm not proud of. If you've listened to me. You know, I have a body that once told me the story of years I'd rather not relive.And roads I've walked back down and over and over those moments I was most sure I'd be rejected if I were being honest were the very exact moments where Grace showed up and stayed. And I've shared many of those things right here on the show. So I want you to understand, I've been where you are today.I felt that pain of wanting to be alone. Because, man, if they knew the real Ralph, if they knew what went on behind the scenes of stuff I kept hidden, well, there would never.Nobody wants to see that. But being fully known didn't cost me the love. When I look back at it, it was the doorway to the only love that ever held me.And that's why I built what I built My whole mission, if you will. My whole thing that I do is that arm around the shoulder and that small echo of that man at the well saying, you know what? I see you.I see you in your brokenness, and I still love you. And one of the greatest things you can do, one of the greatest things that you can absolutely do is go be a well for somebody else.Because if you go back to the story, she leaves the water jar. That's that thing she came for. She came to get water. That's what she was doing. And she runs into town.She runs into the very people that she'd been hiding from. And what is she screaming? It says, come see a man who told me everything I ever did.Can you imagine the people, the town, they're thinking, who is this man? We all know your nonsense. We know your father, Husbands. We know the person you're with. Now, just be honest here.And here this woman is screaming and hollering. You think about it. She went there to be alone, and now she's like, parading through the town at the top of her lungs.And you gotta see this person, the one that was hiding. This is where Jesus is. Beautiful, isn't he? The one that was hiding became the very one inviting everybody else in. Your noon.Whatever that is for you right now can become someone else's rescue. Because right now, as you watch me or listen to me, some of you are carrying a jar right now.And there's some way you've been trying to satisfy that ache to be loved. And I just want to encourage you right now, put it down. Put it down for good. Drink the real thing.Because, friend, you are fully known and you are fully loved. And you can finally stop being thirsty. Now, I want to get quiet for just a minute. I want you to think about that version of you that nobody sees.Not the part you put on social media, not the part you share with your friends or acquaintances. And I want to ask you something honestly. Who told you that if it came to light, you'd be left? Really?Who told you that if you came to life, you'd be left? Whoever told you that lie? Because that's a lie. If you tend to settle for being loved by people who don't really know you.And you call that connection? You're not really connected. You're still alone. And what's that water jar that you're carrying?That well that you keep returning to that never satisfied. Can you believe the one who knows every single thing? Those parts that you'd never say out loud? Can you embrace the fact that he's not backing away.He's not leaving you. He already knows it. Listen, you're not hiding from God. He knows exactly those dirty little secrets that we don't talk about in polite company.He knows it all together. And guess what? He's still at the well, and he's still offering the greatest gift of your life. Living water.So let me ask you right now, what would change if you stopped hiding at noon and let yourself be fully known by the one who already fully loves you? Because here's the truth unveiled for today. Jesus crossed every barrier to sit with the woman that everybody avoided. He named the whole story.She came to noon to hide. And instead of leaving, instead of running away, he offered her living water. And he's offering that to you right now.You can be fully known and fully loved at the same time. God already knows the very worst. Trust me. He knows the worst. And he's not backing away.So today, right at this moment, you can put down that jar and stop being thirsty. And maybe right now, you realize that you've been coming to a lot of wells. You've been trying to fill a thirst that nothing has ever touched.And you've never actually had that relationship or met that one who offers the living water. And he already knows your story. He knows every bit of it. He knows the things that you'd never tell anyone.And he's not sitting there with crossed arms and judgment or a scowl or shame. He crossed every single barrier all the way to the cross to get to you. When he was on that cross, he saw that he knew the full truth of who you are.And he went to the cross for exactly that person anyway. On that cross, he took your sin. He took my sin. He took your hiding. He took my hiding. He took your shame. He took my shame.And in three days, he rose again in triumphal victory. And he offers something to you today. He offers you living water that satisfies. I'm talking about like you've never been satisfied before.And a love that you never have to perform. For if you're ready to accept that living water, if you're ready to accept that gift, why don't you pray with me right now?Jesus, you already know all of it. You know the parts that I've hidden. You know the parts that I'm ashamed of. You know it all. And I believe you love me anyway.And I believe that you died for me and you'd rose again. So right now, Lord, right at this moment, I'm done hiding. I'm done going to the well at noon. I'm done being thirsty.Lord, I ask right at this moment that you become my savior and give me your living water. And I know when you do that, Lord, and I enter into a relationship with you, I will never thirst again. I'm yours, Lord.Forgive my sins, Lord, and accept me as your child. In Jesus name I pray. Amen, friend. If you prayed that, I want to encourage you to do something.Put down the jar, break the jar, throw it into the heap if you need to. But tell somebody because you need that one person. You can reach out to me at https://www.truthunveiledwithralph.com/decision. Be happy to talk to you.Go find a church. Or maybe for you, you just need to find that one believer that you trust. That person's out there for you.Maybe, maybe you need to be that person for somebody else. Like maybe you've been saved a long time ago, but you're like Ralph, you know what? This isn't, this is recharged something in me.I need me that person at the well when that person comes in their shame and just put my arm around him and saying, hey, you know what? I can help you with this because you've been fully known and fully loved. And that right there is the kind of news that you can run into town with.And I just want to leave you with a couple of thoughts. So many of us think we got to perform for a love we don't have to perform for a love you've already got. God knows the worst, and yet he stayed.And that means that hiding can finally end. So let that one safe person see the one true thing about you. Because like I said, shame in the dark grows. Don't let it happen.Shame in the light starts to die. Put down the jar, go be a well for somebody else and point them to the one who told you everything and loved you anyway.I love what John chapter 4, verse 29 says. It says, come see a man who told me everything that I did. Can this be the Christ that is the very invitation of a woman who was finally fully seen.What does she say? Come and see. How about we close in prayer? Father, I just want to thank you that you know us all together and you still love us.And for that one hiding at noon, arranging their life around not being seen, Lord, I just ask that right now you would meet them at their well.Let them be fully known and not abandoned, Lord, and for that one right now settling for a shallow love, terrified of the real thing, I just ask that you would give them courage to let one safe person in.And for that one carrying a jar keep returning to a well that never satisfies them, Lord, I just ask that you would give them living water that ends that thirst once and for all. And for that one, that sure their worst secret disqualifies them from love, from anybody.Remind them, Lord, that you loved us while we were still sinners and there's no version of us that you'll hide from.And for that one right now, who's ready to stop hiding and come for the first time, Lord, please welcome them, fill them and send them into a town with good news. You know it all together, Lord, and you love us still. Thank you. And I pray this in Jesus name. Amen.Now, I want to encourage you to do something today. This is a message that someone that you know in your life needs to hear.Maybe it was you, but maybe there's somebody else you're thinking of right now, you know, like Ralph. I know somebody needs to hear this message. I know somebody that's coming to the well at noon.I want to encourage you to send this to one person and just encourage them say, you know what?Just listen to this message or watch this message because I think it would help you let them hear that there is a well where both things happen at once. Because that's how this ministry grows, one arm around, one shoulder at a time, by you sharing what you have learned here.I encourage you to subscribe to the show and come back next time on Truth Unveiled. Friend, you don't have to keep coming to a well in the heat of the day. You're already fully known and you're already fully loved.So put down the jar, keep seeking the truth and let it set you free. May God bless you and I'll see you next time.