Conformed or Transformed: What Living for Christ Actually Costs You

I want you to be honest with me for a second.How much of your life today, your opinions, your habits, the way you spend your money, the way that you scroll through your phone, the things that make you angry, the things that make you laugh, how much that did you actually choose and how much of it did you just absorb?You know what I'm talking about from the algorithm everybody talks about, or from the news cycle or from whatever your group chat decided was true this week. And here's what kills me. A lot of Christians, they think they're living differently than the world.But if you stripped away the Sunday morning and looked at Monday through Saturday, you'd find what looks and sounds and spends and honestly reacts almost like everyone else's. It's that same outrage, that same anxiety, that same comparison, and yes, that same chase. Truth is, we've all been conformed.And most of us don't even know it happened. Hello and welcome back to Truth Unveiled. Today I want to talk about what it actually means to live a Christian life. You might be saying, Ralph, wait.You are going real deep today. I'm not talking about theory today. I'm not talking about on worship night or Sunday morning. I'm talking about Tuesday afternoon.I'm talking about when you open your inbox, when you're scrolling in social media, looking at those group chats, and yes, even when you're pushing buttons on that remote control. Because here's what I believe, and this is what I'm going to start with today. Culture doesn't need to convert you to control you.I want to say that again because it's so importantly critical that we understand this. Culture doesn't need to convert you to control you. It just needs you to stop noticing. Which is going to get right into today's anchor verse.We're going to go to the Book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 2, because this is what we're going to build the entire episode on today, just one verse. It encapsulates the entire framework for the Christian life. And here's what it is again. Romans 12:2.And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Like I said, it's going to get a little deep today, but we got to start by defining what conformed means.The best analogy I can give you is I think back to when I was a kid around Christmas. My mom used to like to make candy and she would get out These molds and these molds had all kinds of cool shapes in them.And then what she would do is she would melt the chocolate in a saucepan, and then she would take a spoon and put each one in the mold. Conforming is a shaping word. Think of it like that liquid poured into a mold. The liquid doesn't fight the mold.It doesn't even notice, just takes the shape of the mold. Those little pieces of candy. That chocolate didn't know any better. It just got poured into it and it just took the shape of the mold.It wasn't anything dramatic. But that conforming, as we compare that to our lives is not some dramatic fall. It's just a slow, patient shaping that you stop resisting.So let's talk about what this looks like today in 2026. I want to step on a few toes today, but how many of us check our phone before we pray? We got to go check, see what's going on.On social media, we let strangers tell us what to fear before our feet even hit the floor in the morning. And then we get into that death scroll.We're scrolling past someone's vacation, their body, what they look like, their marriage, those success factors, and all of a sudden your body just tenses up and you just say, oh, that's just how I feel about things. But you're not really naming what it is. And that's envy. And here's why culture's value system is so dangerous. It sounds reasonable to us.How many of us have heard the term be authentic, but only on the parts that perform well. You can't be authentic if you're struggling. You can't be authentic if you're in depression.You can't be authentic if your life doesn't fit the mold of everybody else's. How many people have heard speak your truth. But of course, that truth can only be if it matches the other people in the room.How dare you say something that would be different than them? Then you can't speak your truth, right? Culture tells us that self care is sacred. But self sacrifice, well, that's suspicious.Why would anybody sacrifice? It's all about what's in it for them. Culture tells us success is the goal, and you only rest once you've earned after proving yourself.And as Paul was writing this, he wasn't writing about obvious evil. I think all of us can understand, all of us can discern and say, well, that's obvious evil.I really believe Paul was warning us about acceptable shaping. What we're allowing everything around us to shape Now I want to put this in terms that I understand as an accountant.I've spent 30 years I working in the financial space. And here's a truism. I've never met anybody that's gone broke from one bad decision.Now, occasionally I've met somebody that made a real boneheaded decision. It didn't work out for them. But generally, it's not one bad decision. It's a thousand small ones that they never noticed.Your spirituality is the same. I don't believe many people wake up and abandon faith in one moment. Just say, you know what? I'm not going to be a faithful person anymore.It's not some dramatic decision like this fall that all of a sudden happened. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but it's not generally what happens.What happens to most of us is we stop noticing the shape that we're being poured into. We're going back to being candy, and culture is molding us into the shape. And here's the sting of what Paul saying.He says in the world, but not of it. Notice what that means. It's about the shape, not the location. Because you can be physically separate from something.You can say to yourself, well, I don't live like those people. I don't go in the same circles that they go in. But you can be physically separate and still completely shaped by the world.Think about church attendance, prayer before your meals, even this podcast. Those are all good things. It's great to go to church. It's great to pray before your meals.I'm so happy that you're here listening to the word of God on this podcast. But none of those things automatically means you're not conformed to the world.And if your mind has been quietly absorbing culture's value for years, would it even take notice? Do you even notice what your mind is being formed into? You don't see it because the mind is the battlefield.But God doesn't leave us in the mold here. So let's talk about what transformed actually means. Because we said conformed, but Paul is telling us to be transformed.Let's go right back to the Greek word. It stems from a term called metamorpho. It's the same root as metamorphosis. It's not some tweak. It's not some, let's try harder.It's a different creature entirely. Think about a caterpillar. A caterpillar doesn't get a caterpillar upgrade. It becomes something that flies. It becomes something completely different.It's transformed. So where does Transformation start because the Bible's telling us, scripture is telling us that we need to not be conformed, but to be transformed.It's not your behavior that starts there. It starts in the mind first. See, most people try the outside. They stop that habit. Well, I'm not going to watch bad movies.I'm not going to listen to vulgar music. I'm not going to do the things of this world. I'm going to fix my temper. They fix what's on the outside.But then they wonder why it doesn't stick for very long. It doesn't stick for very long because renewal starts upstream. Because that's where conforming happened first.Friend, you were shaped by what fed your mind from a very young age. The only way to reshape that is to go back and do that same thing again. What are you feeding your mind?God isn't asking you to white knuckle your way through culture. He's offering you a way to renew the actual machinery that processes it. What I'm talking about here is renewal. It's a daily event.It's not some one time event. Even in the Greek, the tense for that word was an ongoing process. It's not. You get saved and your mind is instantly renewed forever.I wish it was that simple. But it's not. Because guess what? We have to live in this world. It's not one magic moment.Now, I believe there is a point when you accept Christ as your savior, that there's a salvation point where you're indwelled by the Holy Spirit. I think that is a moment in time. But it's just a start. It's a daily question. It's a daily question of what am I feeding my mind today?Because every day is a spiritual battlefield for what you're putting in. Because what you put into that is what's going to come out of it.And every single input is either going to reinforce the mold or it's going to participate in the renewal of your mind. There are no neutral inputs. I've heard people say it all the time. Well, you know, it's not that bad. You know, I'm a good person.I go to church on Sunday, I tithe, I do all the right things, I pray. But what are you putting into your mind? And that's why I call this the great gospel interruption.You're not stuck with the mind that you have right now. Hear me on this. If you're like Ralph, my mind is so conformed to the world, I don't know that I can ever break Free of it. You're not stuck in that.You could have lived through years of anxiety. You could be living through years of comparison and outrage and numbness. But that's not your permanent operating system. Think about a computer.You know, computers have an operating system on those. That's what they have to operate from. But God promises something different, doesn't he? He promises renewal, transformation.To become something that you weren't to something that you are. It's not punishment. It's not punishment for being shaped. It's not condemning the mold, it's offering to remake you from it.And here's the hinge to the whole thing. That conform, that confirmation that we all live through, it happens passively.You don't actively engage in, well, I'm gonna go out and become conformed to the world. The world shapes you by default. It just does. It's the way it works. So if you do nothing, the world is going to continue to shape you.That shaping will be conforming to what the world wants. But transformation requires something different. It requires participation. It's an active process. It's presenting your mind every day.It's presenting your attention every day. It's presenting those inputs that you're connecting back to God. It's not about, how do I avoid culture. Because guess what? I'd love to tell you.You can avoid culture, but you can't. You live here. You are in the flesh, in the current body you're in, you have no choice but to live in the culture.But the question is, what am I actively going to do to let God renew?

How?

I think, because that's what we need to do. It's the transformation. It's an active process of transforming. And here's what this looks like I mentioned a little while ago.What does your life look like on Tuesdays? Because Sunday is easy, right? I'm filled with the Spirit, I'm filled with the word. If you're a churchgone person, that's fantastic.You probably walk out of church and you feel like you're on fire. Fire. But then Monday comes and maybe you make it through Monday, but then Tuesday, I'm back in the world again, aren't I? But the renewed mind.Think about your telephone here for a second if you're going to be. Because everybody's got a phone with them right now. Mine's over here sitting right in front of me right now.If I'm going to really renew my mind before I look at my phone, you've got to ask yourself the question, what is this about to put me into? What's it going to put into me?When I scroll, when I go onto any of the social platforms, when I read these groups, what am I allowing that to come into me?It's not about what I feel like consuming, because what you feel like consuming is going to put you back in that place of conforming, because that's what you know, that's what you've been trained from a very young age. But before you pick up that phone, the renewed mind says, what am I allowing this to put inside of me? And see, this is stewardship.A lot of people would say, well, Ralph, you're talking about legalism. But think about this for a second. If you have an automobile, you're not going to pour anything into your gas tank.You're going to double check, am I at a gas station? Is this in fact gas? Maybe you have a diesel versus unleaded here in the United States.You're going to look at that pump and say, what am I putting into this? You've got to do the same thing, what you're putting into your mind. I'm not telling you to go on your phone and delete every app.Maybe you need to do that. But just notice what you're ingesting. Think about this. After 30 minutes of scrolling, how do you feel? Do you feel restless?Do you get stuck in this comparison? Maybe for you it's this ho hum of dread. See, that's data. That's what the mold is doing to you.So before you pick up your phone the next time, think about, what am I allowing this to bring into my world? Because if you want to renew your mind, you've got to cut out the things that are pulling you back into the world.Here's the second thing I talk about all the time. Money in common culture. People see money as ours to deploy for comfort, for image, and for security. Hey, we can go by comfort.We can buy nice clothes, we can buy purses, we can buy jewelry, we can buy nice cars. And money becomes security. But for the renewed mind, money becomes a tool entrusted for something bigger than your own life.Do you see the difference in conforming? It's all about what I can get from it. In renewing, it's about a tool that's been given to me, entrusted to me for something bigger than my own life.And I'm not telling you to go feel guilty over every purchase. That's not at all what I'm saying. But you're spending. If you're going to renew, your mind needs to start reflecting what you actually value.I'll give you a great example of this. I was interviewing somebody yesterday. I'm going to be doing a short mini series on.She's going through a real tough time in her life, a medical struggle. And this type of struggle is such that she's had to really reduce her spending because her income has dropped by 50%.And she said, ralph, I was still trying to live the life I lived before when I was working hard. She said, but something amazing happened. She says, all of a sudden, I started spending what I actually valued.And I asked her, I said, well, do you feel better about it? She goes, I've never felt better in my life. And I've sat across from people for 30 years.I've sat across from them and we talked about peace, about money. And I'm going to tell you something that's going to surprise you.Most people who find financial peace or peace in their life, it's not about having the most money. I have met people of very meager means who are the most fulfilled and peaceful people that I have ever met. It's about spending, matching your values.And when those things don't match, when those things aren't in sync, that right there is a mind still being conformed. You're still chasing after something that culture tells you will work for you. Let's talk about those relationships.I'm guilty of so many of the things I'm getting ready to talk about. Culture tells us in a relationship, we got to keep score. Who reached out last, who's no toxic, People I got to get away from.And those people just get cut off because culture tells us, well, if they're no value to me, if they're not giving me anything, if they're not doing anything for me, man, I don't need them in my life. But the renewed mind tells us something different. It doesn't pretend that conflict doesn't hurt us. Conflict hurts.But the renewed mind asks us a different question. First, it's not what am I owed? It's what would happen if it looks like to love the person the way I've been loved to them.But do you understand what I'm saying? Think about a successful marriage. I've been in marriage counseling several times in my relationship.I'm going to celebrate 26 years married in September. The number one thing about marriage, if you hear nothing else I say about marriage, marriage is not 50, 50.A lot of people will say, well, culture tells me, you know, I'm bringing 50%. She better bring 50% or vice versa. The best advice I ever got from a marriage Counselor was it's 100. 100.Because the only way a relationship will work, and I don't care if it's a marriage relationship, a friendship, whatever that is, the only way it will work is if both of you are bringing 100% every single day. That's not infatuation, that's not attraction. That's love. It's the decision that I'm going to put the needs and the concerns of somebody before mine.You got to pour 100% into that. And culture will tell you, well, that's just being weak, Ralph. And the truth is, culture rewards cutting people off. Culture tells us, all of them.If they don't fit into your mold, cast them to the side. How many people have been canceled because of something they believe in? And culture champions that. But Christ calls us to something so much more.Christ calls us to reconciliation. Maybe right now I put something on your heart. Maybe there's that relationship that you've been, you know, needs to be fixed. Stop.Stop listening to this right now and go figure out how to fix that that relationship matters, that reconciliation is super important. Go fix that. But let's talk about Tuesday again. Let's talk about what it looks like in your work. Because the world, your job is about advancement.It's about recognition. It's about getting that VP job or that presidential job. It's all about going out and getting yours.But the renewed mind tells us something completely different. The renewed mind tells us to pursue excellent work. It's not saying to don't go headed or don't work hard. It's just saying to hold it loosely.It's about growth without needing growth to validate you. We talked about this a couple weeks ago. What do you boast in? I'm not telling you not to make your work important.I'm not telling you not to make your work valuable. Listen, I've coached people my entire career who hit every single goal I'm talking about financially. They hit this, they hit this.They had their retirement, they had this, they had that, they had the job, they had all those things, but they were still empty. Because the truth is that goal was never going to fill what God only can fill in their lives.Let's talk about self talk because we can spend an hour talking about self talk. I'm not going to keep you for an hour. But culture tells us that there are two failure modes.The two things it is constant inflation and constant, crushing, constant inflation. You deserve this. Everywhere you look. I got to get that. I got to get this. Don't ever apologize to anybody.It also talks about constant crushing because all it tells us is you're behind that person down the road from you. They've got more than you. Everyone else has it figured out. But think about what both of those things are doing. They're making us conform.Both of those are shaped by comparison. What does this person have? What do I have? What does this person achieve? What have I achieved? But they're not about the identity in Christ.When you live in a renewed mind, it doesn't need to be the best or the worst in the room. It just needs to know whose it is in the first place. Now, I want to draw your attention to the pattern across all five of these.Think back to what we just talked about. None of this is dramatic. Nobody's moving to a mountain and escaping from everybody. Transformation happens in completely ordinary moments.You got your phone in your hand and you decide, you know what? I'm not going to fill myself with that today. I'm not going to fill myself with dread or comparison or envy or greed.It happens in your wallet, what you choose to spend. It happens before you send that text. You think, you know, what is this building a relationship? Or is it just destroying one?What is it telling you about what you believe in yourself? And that's where conforming usually happens. But it's also exactly where renewal happens as well. And that's why this is so hard.Because the very thing that's trying to suck you into conforming is the very thing you've got to do to be transformed. And I want to slow it down here for a minute. Just you and me talking right now. Ask yourself this. Where has that mold been working on you the longest?Think about that molded you live in. I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. I'm talking about that quiet stuff. That stuff that feels normal because you didn't realize it all along.You'd never call it conforming. Is it how you talk to yourself when no one's listening? Are you constantly wondering, why are they so far ahead of me? Why don't I have what they have?That's conforming? Is it what you reach for in those moments when they get quiet?Is it that version of success you've been chasing without ever asking who handed you that definition? How many of us are chasing this metric of success that we've never actually thought about? Does it even matter?But somebody told you it does, so you got to go after it. I hear this all the time when people want to buy a house.I've had young people come into me to meet with me financially and they say, ralph, my parents are pressing us, we got to buy a house. Do you really have to buy a house? I hear the same thing. Young families want to have children. Do you really have to have a children?Whose measurement are you adhering to? Is it something that's transforming you? There are reasons to buy a home. There are reasons to have children. Beautiful reasons. My.My son just had our first grandchild. What a beautiful reason. But he wasn't doing it to conform to the world. He was doing it to transform. He wanted to build a relationship.So here's a hard question. If God today renewed your mind completely right now, what would change? First, it wouldn't be your circumstances, it would be your mind.What would you stop believing? If God right now transformed your mind, what would you stop believing? What would you stop reaching for? What wouldn't matter anymore?And I'm not asking you to feel guilty about anything. Guilt is the world's tool. Guilt is the thing that keeps you from doing what you actually need to do in living that transformation.Guilt points backwards and leaves you stuck. What I'm talking about is conviction. That's God's tool. It points us forward and invites you to move.So as you think about those things that are conforming you, as you think about those things that are measuring your success, if something just surfaced while I was talking, I don't want you to just push it down. Don't just pretend like it's not there. That may very well be the Holy Spirit right now, showing you exactly where renewal wants to begin.Remember I said it's so close to being the same. The things that are conforming you are the things that you've got to go and look at and study and understand and battle up against. Here's the truth.Unveil moment today. You don't drift towards Christ, you drift towards whatever. You stop resisting. As I said earlier, conforming is what happens by default.If you don't actively pursue something, you will conform.But transformation is what happens when you hand God your mind, when you hand him your inputs, when you hand him your attention, you hand him your purpose. And every single day, friend, the Christian life isn't lived on Sunday, it's renewed on Tuesday.Now, everything we just talked about, that renewal, that transformation, that mind being remade, none of it starts with effort. You might be thinking, wait, wait a minute. That contradicts what you just said. I got to put any things into this. No. It starts with surrender.And right now, if you've been listening and something in you knows the mold has been set deep, maybe deeper than you ever admitted. I want you to hear this, and I want you to hear this plainly.The same God who promises to renew your mind is the God who sent his Son to make the renewal possible in the first place. Romans 12 is a great verse, but it doesn't stand alone.It comes after 11 chapters of Paul laying out the mercy of God, that grace that meets us before we clean ourselves up. Up. Transformation isn't something you earn your way into. It's something you're invited into because of what Jesus Christ already did on the cross.And maybe right now you've never crossed that line. Maybe you've lived your whole life conformed to a world shaped by everything except that relationship with the one who made you in the first place.Friend, today can be the day that changes. If you want that to change, if you want to break free and you want to really experience transformation in your life, it starts with surrender.If you're ready to do that, I'm going to encourage you. Pray this with me. This isn't some magic formula. It's not going to happen overnight.But it's an honest conversation that right now, you need to have with God. Just pray with me right now. Lord Jesus, I admit that I've been shaped by everything but you. I've been conformed when I was meant to be transformed.But I believe you died for me. I believe you died for that very issue. And I believe you rose again so that I could be made new.And right now, today, I'm done trying to renew myself on my own. It's not working. And right now, I'm giving you my mind. I'm giving you my life. I'm giving you everything today. Come and make me new.Lord, I accept you as my personal Savior. Amen. If you just prayed that, maybe it's the first time, or maybe it's the hundredth time, it doesn't really matter.Something has changed in your life. And it wasn't because of any magic words, but it was because who you prayed them to. I want to welcome you to renewal. It starts right now.And it's only just the beginning of this I want you to carry into this week. Romans 12:2. In fact, I think you should memorize this. Not some rule, but an invitation.Think about every input that you see from this moment forward in your life. Every choice, every one of those things is shaping you. Let it shape you. Towards him. I want to read it again.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. That by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.Let's pray together, Lord, for the person who didn't realize how much they've been absorbed from a world that doesn't have their best interest at heart. Lord, I just ask today that you would give them eyes to see it. Not with shame, but with true clarity of purpose.For the one right now that's listening or watching, that's drowning in comparison. Every time they open their phone, renew their mind, Lord, remind them at the very beginning whose they are from the beginning.And for that person that's exhausted from keeping score in those relationship, Lord, soften that grip. Show them what it looks like to love the way you've loved them.For the one who measures worth by a bank account or a job title or how they stack up against everybody else, Lord, I ask you right now to interrupt that pattern. Replace it with a peace that doesn't depend on any of those things.And for the person right now who feels like it's just too late, like that mold has been set and there's no going back reminded that transformation is your specialty, Lord, you don't ever give up on shape things. You remake them, Lord. Remake all of us into the image that you would have for us. Help us to be transformed by your word and by your love.And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Friend, if something hits you today on this show, I want to encourage you to share it with somebody else who needs to hear it.There are a whole lot of people that are living in this conformed world and they need to be transformed. There are so many people who've been shaped without even knowing it. Someone that you know needs to know that renewal is still possible.Share this with them. And remember this, you don't have to keep the shape the world gave you.God is still very much in the business of renewal and he wants to transform your life. He wants to show you what peace looks like. This has been Truth unveiled. May God bless you and I'll see you again next time.