The Trap of Comparison: Finding Contentment in Christ

I want to start off today with a question.

What is the very first thing you do when you wake up?

Do you whisper a prayer or be real with me?

Do you, like most people, does your hand go straight to that phone?

You start to swipe.

You start to scroll and then swipe again before you even had a sip of your morning coffee.

You're staring at someone else's highlight reel.

Their perfect family photo, their dream vacation, their business.

It seems to be booming.

They're smiling kids in all matching outfits on their way back to school.

How does that make you feel?

Really?

How does it make you feel when you look at this?

If you're like most people, it doesn't inspire you.

It makes you feel smaller.

It makes you feel like you're behind, like somehow you just don't measure up.

I'm going to tell you right now, you're not alone in that thought process.

Did you know that one in three people, one in three say social media leaves them feeling worse about their own lives?

And here's the kicker.

70% of adults.

You heard me right.

70% of adults admit that they compare themselves to others every single day.

70%.

That means that almost three out of four of us are carrying around this quiet, heavy weight of comparison.

So let me ask you, does that sound familiar to you?

I know it sure sounds familiar to me.

And psychologists call this comparison to thief of joy.

Well, if it's a thief, let me ask you this.

What has it stolen from you?

Has it stolen your peace?

Has it stolen your gratitude?

Has it stolen your ability to see the blessings right in front of you?

Here's what I want you to take in.

Deep down, you ready for some tough love?

See, God never called you to run their race.

So many people think you got to run somebody else's race.

He called you to run your race.

And, friend, today we're going to talk about how to finally step out of that trap of comparison and step into peace and step into purpose and step into the kind of contentment that only comes from Christ.

It's going to be a great show today.

Feeling lost in today's headlines, seeking God's truth for our chaotic culture.

Welcome to Truth Unveiled with Ralph.

Ralph, we'll cut through the noise guiding you to biblical discernment for your faith, your finances, and your life.

Now here's Ralph Estepp Jr. Hello there.

So good to be with you today, friend.

Welcome back to Truth Unveiled with Ralph.

I'm so happy to have chosen to join me again this week.

As we start to unwind some of what we see going on all around us and really compare that to the truth of the Bible.

Now, if you missed the last couple weeks, we've talked about some great topics.

We've discussed generosity.

We've talked about how that's really a gift for the giver and not so much for the person that you're giving it to.

We talked about how to reframe away from that scarcity mindset, how we feel like there's a limited amount of things that we have.

We've also talked about the pursuit of happiness.

Hey, you could say this whole show is about the pursuit of happiness and peace.

I must encourage you right now, if you've missed any of those episodes, you can get them all by going right to our website.

That's truth unveiled with Ralph.com so if you missed them, I encourage you to go check them out.

But today I want to talk about comparison.

If you heard the intro today, you know what I'm getting at here because I truly believe this with every ounce of my being.

Comparison is a silent epidemic in our culture.

And as I said earlier, it's a thief of joy and is a true gratitude killer.

And I love what Harry Coffin said.

He said this.

He said, envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings in instead of your own.

How many times have we done that?

We're looking at that highlight reel somebody else has got going on their lives.

Look at those perfect kids, that perfect business, that perfect vacation, all those Instagram snapshots.

And what does Harry say?

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.

So let's get honest right here from the jump today.

What really comparison is doing to us.

That's really what I want to unwind on today's show.

And I want to start off with some statistics.

I got these as I was planning for the show today.

The reality of comparison.

Now the APA says this.

A lot of people think about this upward comparison.

I'm going to raise to the level of somebody that's better than me or somebody that appears to be better than me.

But the problem is in reality, what that leads to.

It leads to significant anxiety and in so many cases, it leads to deep seated depression.

Think about that.

The first thing I asked you, what do you do when you get in the morning if you're like a lot of people?

You grab that phone, you start scrolling.

I call it the death scroll, but you get to scrolling and you look at everybody else's highlight reel and what we're Finding.

And this is a true finding.

What we're finding is that leads to more anxiety and it's leading to more depression.

Here's one by the Pew Company.

The Pew survey says this.

64% of adults feel inadequate on social media.

Almost two thirds.

Think about that for a second.

Two thirds of the people.

And think about this part.

We'll get into this a little bit deeper as we go along today.

But you're subjecting this to a feeling that makes you feel inadequate.

Two thirds of us are feeling inadequate.

And listen to this one from Harvard.

Harvard found that people are spending 47% of their waking hours distracted comparing themselves to other people.

47%.

And people say they have no time to get anything done.

That's because they're too busy comparing themselves, everybody else.

And Barna Research found this.

And this is one thing that kind of surprised me.

Christians are not immune to this.

Those are some interesting statistics, aren't they?

And I love what Teddy Roosevelt said.

Teddy Roosevelt was the 26th President, United States.

Now, he was known for being this larger than life personality, his bold leadership.

And this is a guy that loved adventure.

He was a man of action.

He was a man of resilience.

And yet he even warned, way back then, he warned us about the dangers of comparison.

He once said, this comparison is the thief of joy.

If you're listening to my voice, you're watching me right now.

That is still so true today.

And Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, one of the world's leading voices on vulnerability, on courage and shame.

In her TED Talk, she gives these TED Talks, she did one on vulnerability.

It's one of the most watched ever.

One of the most watched ever talks.

She's written several bestselling books like Daring Greatly and Atlas of the Heart.

She studied human connection for over two decades.

This is a lady who knows what she's talking about.

And here's what she's found that's so powerful.

One of her insights that fits perfectly here is that she said this.

She said, stay in your lane.

Comparison kills creativity and joy.

Hey, I'll tell you what, we're not too far into it today, but man, there's profit right there in that.

Stay in your lane.

Comparison kills creativity and joy.

And I don't know if you know who C.S.

lewis is, but C.S.

lewis was a bridges writer.

He's a professor at Oxford, Cambridge.

Great guy.

He's known for his classics like Mere Christianity and the Chronicles of Narnia.

A lot of people know him by that and this dude had a gift for explaining deep truths in really simple ways.

So I love his writing.

And when it comes to comparison, I'm going to tell you right now, he just absolutely nailed.

He said this.

Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more than the next man.

Think about that for a second.

Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more than the next man.

And we can learn from that as well.

Let's talk a little bit deeper about the reality of comparison.

Think about this for a second.

You're scrolling through social media.

Let's say a friend buys a new car.

I love this friend, he's a great guy.

Post pictures all over, got this brand new car.

And at first you're on Facebook, you're looking at, oh, this is cool, look at this a great car.

And all of a sudden your mind, your subconscious starts feeling, you know, I really deserve that too.

Why does he have that and I don't?

And for so many of us, and trust me, I've been here, it leads to some unnecessary purchases.

If we're not careful we make those unnecessary purchases, it leads us to debt that we'll never be able to get out from under.

And this is one of the truism.

I'm going to have a bunch of truisms today in the show, and this is one of the ones I came up with right here because it's so important we understand this comparison.

It's one of the thieves of comparison.

Comparison often pushes us to make financial choices that aren't wise.

Why?

Just to keep up.

Think about it.

Think about the things you've bought.

You were scrolling on Instagram or TikTok, whatever you use.

You see somebody that has something, oh, I gotta have that.

Listen, I'm guilty of this myself, I gotta have that.

And then we go make a financial, I call it boneheaded decision.

Certainly not a wise decision.

Why are we making that decision?

So we can keep up with everybody else?

Because as I said earlier, two thirds of us feel inadequate when we see what other people have or think about this.

A small business owner hears about his competitors big revenue numbers.

If you're a small business owner, you hear about this all the time and you start to think, now this guy's got a business, I have a business.

Why am I not seeing the results that he's seeing or she's seeing?

You start to think, you know, I've really operate my business from this steady place.

But instead of staying steady, all of a sudden you start to panic.

A little bit.

And you think, well, I'm going to build my business.

Well, how am I going to do it?

I don't have a lot of cash sitting around.

You go take one of those risky loans.

I've seen so many small business people do this, and you nearly bankrupt your company.

Why?

Again, comparison.

You're comparing yourself to somebody else's life, somebody's big revenue numbers.

But maybe that's not you.

You were living this steady business model.

All of a sudden you see that comparison.

I got to go do that.

I got to go buy that equipment.

I got to do those things.

And here's the thing.

Comparison can blind us to our own lane.

What did the lady say earlier?

Stay in your own lane.

Comparison can blind us to our own lane, causing decisions that endanger the very thing we've built.

Here's a little sidetrack right now.

I've worked with so many small business clients over the past 30 years doing this type of work.

I have seen it take businesses down to nothing.

I've seen bankruptcy, I've seen all kinds of bad problems with people's businesses, all because they were trying to keep up with somebody else.

They were looking at that comparison reel and they were always looking at, well, how come this person has Rob, Why can't I do that?

Let me go borrow, Let me go make some ridiculously dumb decisions.

And those decisions, they endanger the very thing we've built.

This happens not at the.

Just at the business level.

This happens at the personal level.

And it happened to me.

I remember at one point a friend of mine, real close, dear friend of mine, I saw that he was really having a breakthrough moment.

He was knocking it out of the park.

I was like, wow, man, great job, dude.

But then all of a sudden, I started the self talk started going off.

If you're like me, you probably felt this before.

You might be sitting there right now watching her thinking, wow, man, I'm living this right now.

I see it next door at my house.

And my first initial reaction was, man, how come he's got night?

Don't.

I started to feel envy.

I started to feel shame.

I asked myself, why not me?

Listen, I could have stayed in that reality.

I could have made some really bad decisions.

And true, I've made bad decisions because of that, that comparison trap.

But for me, I found a different approach.

And that's what I want to talk a lot about today is how do you get past this comparison trap?

Because it's one thing to say, hey, we live in this comparison trap world.

Which we absolutely do.

Social media has caused this.

It's one thing to say we live there, but that's another thing to say, how do we break free of that?

I'm going to tell you exactly how to do that today.

But for me it was from prayer.

I remember at that very moment I said, God, listen, this isn't good feelings that I'm having.

I should be thankful for what this person has.

They're having a breakthrough.

Thank God for them.

That's great.

And I remember God speaking to me.

Now, listen, I'm not one of these guys think God speaks big booming voice.

Ralph, that's not what I'm saying.

But in my heart, God spoke to me, said, wait a minute, that's not your calling.

You're called to do something else.

And God gently showed me that my race is not their race.

And I remember peace finally came to me when I gave him my envy.

When I said, listen God, I don't need to live in this envy anymore.

I don't need to constantly compare myself to everybody else.

Well, this is interesting.

I did a little research for the show today and I found out this interesting statistic about Olympic athletes and specifically depression.

I was amazed to read this.

Around 34% of elite athletes.

I'm talking about people that are competing in the Olympics.

The top of the top, the cream of the crop.

34% report anxiety or depression.

It's kind of sad when you think about it.

These are people at the top of their game, award winners, gold medal, silver medal, bronze medal, whatever that is, just to compete in the Olympics.

Can you imagine?

34% report anxiety or depression.

Here's a Canadian study showed that 41.4% of national team members of the Canadian team had depression.

41.4% had anxiety or eating disorders.

Just preparing for the games.

They already saw that comparison trap in front of them.

And after the Games.

Listen to this one.

I was about floored when I read this.

24% reported psychological distress.

Danish Olympians post the Tokyo Olympics 27% reported depression.

16% reported anxiety.

And here's one real life example.

Michael Phelps, award winning swimmer from the Olympic team.

Michael Phelps admitted deep depression after the Olympics.

Even said he was suicidal at the top of his game.

But even there he's comparison.

Simone Biles, Olympic gymnast, stepped away mid games to protect her mental health.

And British gymnast Niall Wilson said this.

Imagine the best three weeks of your life and then going home and feeling like rubbish.

That's what happens to Olympians.

I never really thought about that before.

I Don't know if you've ever thought about that either, because we see them at the top of their game.

We see them winning that gold medal, winning that silver medal, that team wins.

But look at these statistics are really sobering.

And if you think about it, if even Olympic champions can feel empty after comparison, what about us?

We're certainly not.

I'm speaking for myself, but I'm telling you right now, I am no Olympian.

And that's success without Christ.

It leaves us a void.

Think about Many influencers have confessed.

I've seen these on TikTok.

I've seen these on Instagram and Facebook.

Many influencers have confessed that what you see is staged.

You believe that for a minute.

The influencers.

This is all staged.

This is a game.

But behind the scenes.

And I've talked to these influencers, you know, doing a lot of podcasting work and influence work myself, behind the scenes, what you find is loneliness.

These people are lonely.

Yeah, they talk to hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of people online, but there's nobody at home for them.

A lot of them are living in debt.

They've bought stuff.

They built these studios, they bought all this grand equipment because they're going to be an influencer.

They're going to impact millions of people, but all they've done is run themselves into debt for that quick 15 minutes of fame, if it's even that long.

And so many of them report broken relationships because they just couldn't keep up with the comparison.

Yeah, they hit that YouTube viral video one time, but the next thing, it's gone and you're just a.

Has been leftover, you know, eaten up and spit out and chewed up and spit out, as they say.

And the problem is we're comparing our real lives to their edited moments.

And if you don't understand it, I want you to hear this loud and clear right now.

What you see on social media, I call it the highlight reel.

These are edited moments.

And no wonder they feel behind when they get into their reality, because that's not the reality.

That's what they're showing you on the outside.

So let me ask you this question.

Let me tell you, I asked this question to myself.

I was making notes for today's show.

Have you ever looked at someone else's blessing and turned it into your own burden?

Kind of like what I was talking about when I saw my friend experiencing success and having that breakthrough, I turned it into my own burden because I put this stress on myself that I had to be like that person.

I had to live in that reality, I had to live in his lane, run his race.

And so many of us find ourselves burdened like that.

You might be listening or watching right now.

You're like, ralph, man, I am burdened right now every day.

First thing like you said, Ralph, I get up out of bed, I start to scroll and I start thinking, man, I'm less than.

And I don't have that new house.

I don't have that flashy car.

My kids aren't to post her children of kids running off to school with matching outfits.

We're just barely scraping by, Ralph.

But here's something I want you to hear and I want you to hear this loud and clear.

God doesn't leave you stuck there.

And we're going to get into God's word right now because he speaks powerfully to this.

Let's get right into some biblical truth.

You know, one of the things I want to do in this show is always ground what we're talking about in biblical truth.

I want to talk about things that are going in culture and you're living with your head in the sand or under a rock if you don't think right now that social media is a dominant thing in our culture.

That's why I want to spend some time talking about this.

I've mentioned it before, but it's something that's so important.

But at the same time, the focus of this truth unveiled show is to compare that with the biblical truth and the biblical scripture.

So let's get right into it.

Here's a letter from Paul.

This is the book of Philippians, chapter 4, verses 11 to 13.

Now, I use the ESV in this one because I kind of like the way it sounds.

A lot of people get hung up on, well, that's not, you know, this version that I don't care about that ESV because I thought it really.

So it might sound a little different than what you're used to hearing, but I thought this was so well put.

Again, this is Philippians 4, 11, 13.

And this is Paul speaking, not that I'm speaking of being in need, for I've learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound in any and every circumstance.

I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Now, we can unwind that a little bit.

And I think it's important that we do that because one of the things that jumped out at me and I didn't Catch this the first time I read it.

Contentment is learned.

What is Paul saying here?

Said, I have learned to be.

He didn't say he was natural.

The natural state of man is not to be content.

Let me tell you right now, if you think your natural state is to be content, you're mistaken.

The natural state of man is fleshly.

I want everything I can get.

I want what everybody else has.

So Paul points that out right at the beginning.

Contentment is learned.

It's not automatic.

Now, the other thing I would say is Paul had street credit because Paul faced both plenty and hunger.

And when you live in that reality, I've talked to many people who were raised very wealthy, and maybe something happened and they weren't wealthy anymore.

And I've talked about people on the other side that is too.

People who are raised very poor, and all of a sudden they find themselves in great wealth.

But think about Paul right now.

That comparison could have crushed him.

He could have been like, wait a minute, I've had plenty.

Now I'm living in a prison cell.

But it didn't crush him.

Why?

Because Paul's secret, and the secret that you need to hear right now, as you're listening or hearing this or watching this right now, the secret wasn't his possessions.

So many people get hung up on that.

Well, if I got this and I got that, I got a big fat bank account, I got a nice car, I got a house, all those things, that wasn't what Paul's strength was.

Because what did he say?

You could take it all away.

Doesn't matter.

What could he do all things through?

And that's where this version is a little bit different, because I've heard it read.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

That's exactly what we're talking about here.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

We can learn from that.

Let's move on to the book of Galatians, chapter 6, verse 4.

Another great verse from the Bible again, Galatians 6, 4.

But let each one test his own work.

And then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.

See, I love this one.

I had a note written down here.

God doesn't grade on the curve, even the high school or college.

And you had that curve because, hey, God doesn't work like that.

What is it really saying in the Scripture here?

Each one test his own work.

Not the work of his neighbor, not the work of his colleague, not the work of influencer, not the work of that TikTok knucklehead and have reason to boast, will be in himself alone.

When you test your own work, focus on your own lane.

Focus on the gifts and the talents and the beautiful things that God has given you, not on your neighbor.

Stop comparing yourself to what is not your race, what is not your lane.

Because here's a truth.

When we really live in comparison, what does it do to our eyes?

It shifts our eyes sideways.

But God calls us to face the truth and faceward faithfulness towards the front, towards God.

That comparison, we're looking all around, but we're not looking to the source of all that we really should have.

Let's move on to Hebrews.

It's from Hebrews chapter 13, verse 5.

And this is like an admonition of all admonitions.

And I think we can all learn from this one as well.

A lot to learn today.

Got a lot to learn today.

Hebrews 13:5.

Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have.

For he has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Now, a lot of people have used that term.

I've used it in my daily show.

A lot of people use that and kind of make it wrong and talk about money being the root of all evil.

And it is, if it becomes your God.

Let me tell you right now, I'm not gonna lie to you.

What is it saying here?

Keep your life free from the love of money.

See, there's the nuance difference.

And be content.

We've done shows about contentment, for it is said, what?

This is the most valuable thing that you own as a Christian.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

And see, the thing about comparison, we want to be honest with each other.

Let's have some honest talk here for a minute.

Comparison, by its very nature, is usually rooted in money and possessions.

That's what we're comparing.

You can't compare what somebody feels in their heart.

I haven't seen anything.

I haven't seen any tools online.

You can go compare.

Let's see what Ralph's heart looks like compared to somebody else's.

What are we looking at?

We're looking at stuff.

We're looking at money.

We're looking at jewelry, we're looking at clothing, we're looking at cars, all those things.

You understand what I'm talking about?

That's what comparison is usually rooted in.

Well, if we root ourselves in that comparison, what is the scripture telling us?

Keep your life free from those things.

Be Content with what you have.

Because God never promised you comfort.

A lot of people get hung up when I say that God never promised you comfort.

What he did promise you is his presence.

And he did promise you provision.

Provision secondary.

It's all about his presence.

Being with God is the most important thing.

And true contentment.

Here's the little secret nuance to this.

True contentment flows from relationships, not by catching up with other people.

Have one truism I'm going to share with you right now.

And it took me a long time.

I'll be 53 very soon.

One of the things that I learned, it took me a long time to learn it.

Contentment was never going to be found in stuff.

I've had all this stuff.

I've had big watches, big cars, big houses, all those things.

But I never found true contentment in that because I was always catching up.

There's one thing everybody always had a little bit more than me.

Oh, I had the nicest Corvette.

Well, they had a nicer one.

I had the nicest house.

Well, they got a nicer one.

I. I had a nicest watch where they got a nicer one.

Just felt like I was always catching up.

But when I finally realized that true contentment was being in that relationship with God, man, it changed everything.

Let's continue in scripture.

This is one from first Timothy, chapter six, verses six to ten.

We're going to nail contentment square because that's one of the big key takeaways today.

First Timothy 6, 6, 10.

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into this world.

We cannot take anything out of this world.

But if we have food and clothing with these we will be content.

But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.

It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

Listen, Scripture can't say it any more clearly than that.

Contentment is really the true gain.

It's not possessions.

Possessions are temporary.

Those comparison things are just leading you to buy stuff that's temporary.

That comparison driven desires are dangerous traps.

What does the scripture say?

They plunge themselves into ruin and destruction.

How many people are listening or watching right now?

You are in debt over your head because you've been trying to live in this comparison trap.

And I'm not judging you, my friend, because I've been right where you are still there.

In some ways, to be very candid with you, because your love is in the wrong place.

Your love is in stuff.

Your love is in possessions.

And here's the thing you got to hear today.

Possessions are temporary.

Contentment is not temporary.

It's that relationship with Christ.

Let's move on to Psalm 139, 14.

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works.

My soul knows it very well.

And I'm pivoting here a little bit because I think it's important, because we talked about contentment, we've talked about that comparison trap, we talked about the evils of money, the evils of possessions.

But I want to remind you of how much value you have in the sight of God.

Fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works.

Not your friends works.

Not the comparison works, not the Internet stooges or the Instagram idiots.

Your works.

My soul knows it very well.

See, here's the thing that should be reassuring to you today.

God's design.

God's true design for us.

He made us all unique and that was intentional.

And see, comparison lies to us.

It's whether you're never going to have enough.

You're never going to have enough, Ralph.

There's always going to be somebody who has more than you.

But what's the other side of that?

What is God saying to us?

God says, wait a minute, Ralph.

No, you're missing the point here, dude.

God said, you're wonderfully made, Ralph.

You're made intentionally.

You're unique.

You're who I made you to be.

You're running your race.

I'll tell you what, that makes me feel good when I hear that verse.

That's one of the ones I might want to write down and put on the refrigerator today.

At the end of the day, you might want to consider to do the same thing.

Psalm 139, 14.

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works.

My soul knows it very well.

Let's move on to the Book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11.

I know I'm doing a lot of scripture today, but I needed to get into the Scripture today because I want to show you the antidote to this comparison.

That's what we're really talking about today.

These scripture verses and the things I want to talk about here in a few minutes are the antidote to this.

Again, this is Jeremiah 29:11.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil.

To give you a future and a hope.

Well, you can rest in that.

Because God said you're fearfully and wonderfully made, intentional, unique.

And he has plans for us.

He plans for you.

As you're listening or watching right now, God's got plans for you.

Not for evil, for your welfare.

What does he end it with so beautifully?

Future and hope.

See, God's plan is personal and hopeful.

It's not about matching someone else's journey.

God's not putting you in a race to run somebody else's race.

And when you can truly rest in his plan.

I'm talking about God's plan for your life.

He's already got it figured out for you.

You just have to be willing to accept it.

You got to be willing to embrace it.

You gotta be willing to walk in that relationship with Him.

When you do that, he brings you ultimate peace.

And when you line that up with what culture screams, and culture is screaming at this to you from every orifice that it has, when you line up what culture screams of what Christ promises.

And I think I've proven it in the scriptures today, the difference couldn't be clearer.

Let's take a few minutes and talk about culture versus Christ.

Because that's really the central part of why I do this show.

Every week.

So many things are going on around us.

A constant state of craziness, as I call it all the time.

But it is.

It's crazy.

Just sometimes I think I'm on another planet.

This isn't the Earth anymore.

This isn't the United States.

Wherever you listen to this, maybe you're another country.

You might be thinking the exact same thing.

Because culture is lying to all of us.

Culture tells us that our worth is in the number of likes we have.

How many Facebook followers do we have?

How many Instagram people do we have?

If I'm a YouTube influencer, how many likes do I have?

How many shares do I have?

Culture tells us about the hustle.

Why?

Because the hustle is leading us to money.

Money leads us to buy stuff, buying possessions.

So culture is lying to your face because guess what?

And I want you to hear this loud.

Career, my friend, you're never going to get contentment.

You're never going to get satisfaction by looking at the way culture looks at things.

Because you just don't have enough.

You can't ever get there.

And when you live in that reality, and so many people are living in that reality right now, the result is envy.

I mean, deep envy.

People hate each other because this one's Got a little bit more than them.

Called class warfare at its most obvious point.

Well, how dare they have more than me?

What is that?

That's envy.

It leads to burnout because people are chasing an elusive thing they're never going to get.

You might get all the things you thought you're going to have, but in tomorrow you're going to flip onto that social media.

You're going to see something you don't have.

You're going to start striving for more of it.

And that just leads to exhaustion, constant exhaustion.

We truth is, if we want to take a minute for a second and just think about this for a second, how many people do you know right now around you who are exhausted, hustling, trying to find something, they got this envy, they got this burnout, because they're trying to chase after something that culture tells them.

Here's the answer, here's a solution, here's your final way to get peace and happiness.

Go chase that dollar.

And there's so many people that are living in that reality.

And the problem is we surround ourselves with outlets of this.

That's what social media is.

And listen, I use social media and I'll talk a few minutes about how to restrict some of that because it's causing so many problems.

Well, let's compare that to Christ's way.

Christ doesn't talk about anything about possessions.

He didn't talk about anything but the stuff you have.

When you read Scripture, what is it really saying?

Your worth is your identity in Him.

And we need to embrace that.

Christ is not measuring you by how much money you have in your bank account or how many homes you have or how many cars you have.

He's measuring you by him, by his identity.

And when you're a child of Christ, guess what?

That's what he's measuring you by.

He also gave you a unique calling.

It's your journey, not somebody else's journey.

I've said that a few times, but you need to hear that.

It's your unique journey.

It's your unique race.

And when you live in that reality, and my friends, that is the reality as followers of Christ, as true Christians, when you live in that identity is in him, and you live in that unique calling, that you've got a purpose.

You've got a kingdom purpose.

A lot of people use that term, I got a kingdom purpose.

There's a reality, there's a why for my life.

And when that points to Christ, when that points up, not sideways, to the other clowns in comparison, that's how you live in peace.

That's how you live in gratitude.

And that's how you really get true freedom.

Tell you about this guy named Dallas Willard.

Now, Dallas was a Christian philosopher.

He's an author who spent his life teaching about spiritual formation.

And he actually talked about how we live as apprentices of Jesus.

I thought that was a cool way he said it.

We're all apprentices of Jesus.

And one of his reminders that speaks right into the trap of comparison is this what he said.

The most important thing in your life is not what you do.

It's who you become.

And Dallas, I think you nailed it.

We're all apprentices of Christ.

The most important thing in your life is not what you do.

See, Christ already done it all.

You're not going to outwind Christ.

You're not going to outspend Christ.

You're not going to outlive Christ.

But it's who you become.

What is Dallas really saying to us?

When we build that relationship, we stop comparing ourselves to everyone else.

We stop running everyone's race.

So let me ask you right now, are you tired of running a race?

God never asked you to run.

You probably never heard that asked of you before, have you?

But really think about that for a second.

Just park here for a minute.

Are you tired of running a race that God never asked you to run?

The answer is yes.

Let's talk about how we break free from that.

I want to get some practical steps today to help you break free from that.

Because trust me, I've been here, little bit, kind of there still.

Now, comparison is not an easy thing to break free from.

So now you're thinking, ralph, okay, great, man.

You made your point.

But now, dude, we got to break free from this.

We got to live a life of Christ.

We got to stop living in this comparison trap because it's driving me crazy.

It's making me envious, it's making me angry, it's making me tired.

It's making me burned out.

I'm going in debt after this.

I need to know how to do this.

Well, here's the steps you can do to break free.

One of the first things I think that you need to do is go get yourself a book and write on the front of it.

Gratitude journal.

Throw you where it starts.

And I'm going to encourage you before your feet even hit the ground in the morning.

Keep this at your bedside.

And before you flip that phone on or start that death scroll, write down three blessings daily.

You may be saying, ralph, where am I Going to come up with three blessings.

Listen, there's plenty of things you should be grateful for.

How about your health?

You're able to get up.

You're not in a hospital bed somewhere.

You're not connected to machines.

You don't have something breathing for you.

You don't have an IV drip.

And if you do, I'm just praying for you right now that you'll get through that.

But there's a blessing there.

How about your relationships?

You wake up and your wife or your husband's laying right next to you.

That's a blessing.

You should be grateful for that.

So many people would love to have that right now.

How about that provision?

Think about that for a second.

You got a roof over your head.

God's provided for you.

So easy to take for granted what we already have.

We don't see it.

Sometimes, instead of envying a friend's new house, so easy to say, oh, wow, look at this new place.

Yeah, I sure wish we could have that.

Maybe say something like this.

Write this in your gratitude journal.

Thank you, God, for a roof that keeps me dry.

Listen, there are parts of this world to have a dry roof.

Hey, to have a roof period.

That's provision.

So it starts there.

Write that daily gratitude journal.

Before your feet hit the floor, jump into your gratitude journal.

Because here's the thing.

When you find yourself in those weak moments, when you find yourself in that comparison trap, go grab that gratitude journal and just spend a little time with the Father and say, you know what, Lord, thank you so much for the things I take for granted.

Second thing I'm encourage you to do is pray for perspective.

A lot of people don't think about praying for perspective.

Just a short prayer like something like this.

Lord, help me see my life through your eyes.

Get stuck on everybody else's eyes.

We get stuck on that comparison loop before scrolling media.

Or even if you're in the middle of it, think you find yourself, you know, I got a couple minutes.

I'm gonna go do this.

Just whisper that prayer.

Lord, help me seem life through your eyes, not through the world of comparison.

All those, the highlight reels.

Because let me tell you right now, that will change the dynamic.

If you really have a heartfelt prayer when you're doing that, nothing I'm going to recommend you do keep some scriptures on repeat.

I mentioned a few minutes ago about putting that scripture on the fridge.

You might have thought, Ralph's lost his mind.

I think it's a great idea, actually.

Put them on your mirror in your bathroom or in your bedroom, wherever you put stuff in your fridge, on your phone, wallpaper.

I've seen some cool phones with scripture quotes.

Maybe it's Philippians 4:13 on the fridge.

Or Hebrews 13:5.

Look those up.

We talked about those today on the show.

If that's your reality, make that your comparison.

Go back to scripture.

Put it on repeat.

And when you start to feel that envy, when you start to feel that jealousy, we start to feel like, I'm never going to amount to anything.

I'm never going to compare.

I'm never going to be where they are.

Go right to your scripture.

Here's one more thing I'm going to encourage you to do.

Look for silence before you turn on that screen.

That may sound like an old Fogelberg here term I used to use when I was a kid, or an old curmudgeon, if you will.

Oh, you don't understand how it is.

Everybody's on Instagram, Ralph.

Everybody's on Facebook.

That's great.

Maybe they are.

Is that where you want to start?

Is that where you want to end your life, worrying about what's going on on Instagram?

You want to worry about where you are with the Lord?

So maybe you start your day with God instead.

Maybe five minutes in prayer.

Before even picking up that phone, right in that prayer journal, I had a listener send this to me.

It's one of the reasons I did today's show.

He said, ralph, I read somewhere that if you really do focus on your first five minutes of day in prayer.

And he actually encouraged me to do five minutes at the end of the day, too.

He said, it will reduce your morning anxiety.

He said, I tried this.

This is a real life story.

He said, ralph, I tried this.

First thing I used to do is I get up in the morning, I start scrolling through Facebook or YouTube, see what I missed overnight.

Maybe I go check the weather, check my calendar, all those sort of things.

He said, ralph, I made a conscious decision to leave my phone in the other room.

That's a great idea.

I don't know if I could do that.

I'd be a little afraid to do that.

But he said, I start off with just five minutes of prayer every day, Ralph.

He said, in two weeks, 14 days, he said, ralph, my anxiety had gone almost completely away because I didn't start off my day in comparison.

I didn't start off my day wondering what everyone else has.

I start off with the Lord, with prayer and just communion with God directly.

It's another idea a lot of people have benefited from this.

I've done a couple shows on my daily show about this, and maybe it's time to do a social media detox.

It's okay to unfollow accounts that don't give you good feelings, that stir envy.

Think about this.

You're subjecting yourself to stuff that makes you angry.

You're subjecting yourself to two thirds of the stuff that makes you feel less than or makes you feel inadequate or makes you feel any of those other emotions.

Stop filing those accounts.

It's all nonsense anyway.

Floors will tell you it's all garbage.

It's all made up.

It's drama, it's theater.

Get rid of those things.

Replace them with uplifting voices.

Delete those influencer accounts.

Replace them with devotionals.

Get into the scripture, get into the word of God.

Maybe it's some music you want to listen.

So devotional music.

Social media is not going to take you there.

Now, I've had a lot of people say, well, Ralph, I use social media for devotionals.

That's fine.

Okay, fine.

Let me just tell you right now, they're sending you a whole bunch of other garbage with that.

So think about that.

Nothing I highly recommend is, is having an accountability partner.

Because, listen, you don't have to do this yourself.

Talk to a friend, talk to a spouse.

Talk to somebody that's an accountability center for you.

Maybe share your triggers with them.

Say, you know what?

Seems like every time, Jake, I do this, I compare myself with what I see other people doing.

Or I've had clients of mine, they're business people.

They said, ralph, can we just talk about how I see myself when I see other businesses?

I'm like, sure, absolutely.

Call me anytime.

Because it's so easy to get stuck in that comparison cycle.

But have that accountability partner that'll talk some sense into you.

And that sounds kind of a hard way to say it, but maybe sometimes it's what we need.

We need that person to say, you know what?

Let's look over here.

Because, Ralph, things aren't as they seem over there.

Another big thing I'm going to recommend you do is use service as an antidote.

Tried this myself, and it really is effective.

When you start to feel envy, when you start to feel that rising, that tension in your body.

But tell you, one of the quickest ways to get rid of that is go serve somebody else, deliver a meal to somebody, go volunteer somewhere, go encourage a friend, be that mentor, be that accountability partner for somebody else.

Because when you start to do that, envy just goes right away.

Because Then it's service to somebody else.

You're not worried about yourself because that's a truth.

What's the real truth here?

You're worrying about you.

Stop focusing on you.

Focus on somebody else.

Another thing I'm going to encourage you to do is celebrate others.

Intentionally.

I found myself doing this time and time again.

When I had that envy, when I felt like I mentioned it earlier, when I had that business person, that friend of mine who had a breakthrough, I felt envy.

Why couldn't that happen to me?

And just like Paul said, encourage yourself.

Encourage them by cheering others on.

This is not a known behavior.

You got to learn this behavior.

Maybe send them a, hey, great job.

Send them a comment and maybe you're on social media.

Hey, great job on that.

I'm so proud for you.

I'm so happy for you.

Encourage them.

Encourage others to get to that same level.

Cut out those triggers, cut out those sources that install this envy.

Stop browsing on stuff if it's making you crazy, if it's making you upset, if it's making you angry, jealous, envious, whatever those things are.

Stop doing these and start to reframe your success.

Because success is not measured in comparison.

I've said this a million times today.

It's measured in your faithfulness.

And it's so important that we do that.

And here's where this lands us all today.

Comparison is a prison with invisible bars.

I just want you to picture this in your own mind.

Comparison is a prison.

You can't even see the bars around you, but you've put yourself into this prison.

Well, you know what the key to unlock that cell is?

Its gratitude.

It's contentment.

Because contentment is rebellion against that never enough mentality.

And when you build that relationship with Christ, you will find peace, you'll find joy, and you'll find freedom.

And you'll finally be able to get out of that comparison trap.

And now as you're watching and listening right now, maybe you're realizing you need more than just freedom from comparison.

Maybe you need that freedom that's found in Christ himself.

And maybe today you've realized that this tropical comparison has left you tired.

It's left you empty.

It's left you chasing after approval that never lasts.

I'm going to tell you right now, friend, you're not alone in that.

A lot of us are guilty of this.

And I've been there, trying to measure up, but always coming up short.

But here's the truth.

The problem isn't just comparison.

The problem is that without Christ, none of us can ever find lasting peace or contentment.

And why is that?

Because our hearts were made for God and, and they're going to stay restless until they rest in Him.

Now maybe as you're watching or listening, you've been carrying this quiet weight for years.

You've been measuring yourself against others, trying to be enough, trying to keep up with that comparison trap.

But the gospel is this.

In Christ, you already have enough.

I want you to hear.

I'm going to say it one more time because it's so important that you hear that in Christ, you already have enough.

He doesn't ask you to measure up.

He doesn't ask you to have these things.

He doesn't.

He asked you to.

It's a beautiful part of it to surrender.

See, Jesus didn't come here so you could live in the shadows of someone else's success.

He didn't come here so you could run someone else's race.

He came here so you could have life.

Real, abundant, eternal life.

If you want that life, that life starts the moment you give him your whole heart.

So if you're ready, if you feel like God is just tugging at your heart right now, I want to just lead you in a quick prayer.

It's not about fancy words.

It's not about anything other than a sincere heart and just opening that door to Jesus.

Are you feeling nudge right now?

I'm just encourage you to pray this prayer with me right now, right where you are.

It doesn't matter where you are.

Dear Heavenly Father, I know I'm a sinner and I really need your forgiveness.

Lord, I believe with all my heart that Jesus Christ is your son.

I believe that he died on the cross for my sins and you powerfully raised him from the dead.

And I confess my sins to you right now.

At this very moment.

I humbly ask that you come into my life.

Lord, I give my life to you today.

I give it to you completely.

I choose to follow you, Jesus.

I choose to follow you as my Lord and Savior.

Starting now and leaving it forever.

Thank you for your amazing love Lord and for the precious gift of eternal life.

And I just pray this in Jesus name, Amen.

If you prayed that prayer, I'm going to tell you something right now.

You are now a beloved child of Christ and your eternity is sealed with Christ.

There are celebrations going on all over heaven because another person has just been saved.

So I just want to encourage you right now, share that decision with somebody.

You don't do this alone.

Maybe you've got A close friend who's a Christian or a pastor.

Hey, you can reach out to us.

You go right to our website.

It's Truth Unveiled with Ralph.

I would love to hear from you.

I'd like to help you find a church.

I'd like to help you on that journey of being a Christian.

And while we're talking about journeys, if today's message spoke to you, if God stirred something in your heart, this comparison trap you like Ralph, man, I hear it.

Other people need to hear this.

Ralph, I can't let this go without sharing it with somebody.

Don't keep it to yourself.

I'm gonna encourage you.

Share this episode with someone you love.

Share with everybody you love if you want to.

Maybe it's a friend who's been struggling with the comparison.

You know, somebody that right now is trying to always be compared to somebody else.

Maybe it's a family member who just needs some encouragement.

They're really struggling right now because you never know how God might use a simple share.

Listen to me.

A lot of people don't get it, but you're a disciple of Christ.

This simple share could change someone's life, and it could change it in an instant.

And when you share this show, you're helping spread the truth of God's word farther than I could ever do it on my own.

So I just want to encourage you, send them to our website.

That's truth unveiled with Ralph.com and if you like daily encouragement.

I talked about this earlier in the show in your walk, not just on Sundays like today's show.

I encourage you to join me on my other podcast.

It's called the Financially Confident Christian.

Every day for about seven to 10 minutes, I help you break from that financial shame that so many people find themselves in and step into freedom, the freedom that God has for you.

It's assured, it's practical, and it's all completely rooted in scripture.

So I encourage if you want that daily reassurance, talked about those first five minutes that you're doing.

Hey, be a great thing to do to tune into me every day.

Get it right on your podcast app on Apple Spotify.

You can get it by going to financially confidentchristian.com start your day there.

It's not about comparison.

It's about truth in the word of God and how to break that financial shame that so many people are dealing with.

Give me 10 minutes of your day and I'll show you how to build bold faith and finances God's way.

Well, thank you for tuning in to me today.

I just want to thank you so much for giving me your time.

If you missed any of our shows.

Like I said, you can find all of our shows at truth unveiled with Ralph.com share the show and I really encourage you, check out my daily show as well.

That's@financiallyconfidentchristian.com so now I just want to encourage you with this walk in faith, learn with wisdom, and live confident in Christ.

Let us pray.

You have a great day and I hope to see you again next week.

God bless you.