Parenting in a Digital Age: Raising Discerning Children

Speaker A00:00:31

We live in a world where screens are raising more children and parents. Now, I know that's bold, but it's the truth.Everywhere you look, little hands gripping phones, tiny faces bathed in blue light, attention spans fading like sunset shadows. Just the other night, I watched a family at dinner.The mom was scrolling, the dad answering an email, and the kids were each lost in their own glowing world. No laughter, no prayer, just silence. Except for that hum of digital noise. And I thought to myself, we're losing something sacred.And it really made me sad. I feel like we're losing connection. I feel like we're losing presence, and we're losing that still place where God whispers can still be heard.We're just surrounded by so much noise these days. But I want to tell you, this isn't just a technology problem. It would be real easy to blame it on that. There's so much technology going around us.I hear all kinds of people doing just that to say, oh, it's a technology problem. But when I think about it, it's not that at all. It's really a discipleship problem.So the question for today is, how do we raise children who don't just consume what's on their screens, but actually discern what's true in their hearts? Let me ask you this. Have you ever felt like your family's drifting even while you're all sitting in the same room?Have you noticed how quickly the glow of a screen can replace the glow of genuine joy? Well, that's where we're going today.A real conversation about parenting, about presence, and about purpose in a digital world that just never sleeps. Feeling lost in today's headlines, seeking God's truth for our chaotic culture. Welcome to Truth Unveiled with Ralph.We'll cut through the noise guiding you to biblical discernment for your faith, your finances, and your life. Now here's Ralph Estep Jr. Hello and welcome to Truth Unveiled with Ralph. I'm Ralph. I'm an accountant, I'm a husband, and I'm a father.But greater than all those things, I'm a Christian. This show is all about finding the truth of God's timeless word amidst the chaos and noise of current culture.Listen, we got plenty of that going on around us amidst the hum of technology. To be blunt, and I hear parents tell me this all the time, Ralph, I'm doing everything I can. We go to church, we pray before meals.But it feels like the Internet is raising my children faster than I can. And I get it, because I felt that, too. See, it's not about Control. It's about calling. And if we're going to reclaim our homes, which.Listen, we've got to do this. We got to step back into that calling with conviction and courage. Because culture is saying this. Culture saying, let them find their own way.I don't know. Hate times. I've heard that in the last couple days. Culture says, don't limit their voice. Trust the algorithm. It knows what they like.How many times have you heard that lie? But see, God's word says something completely different. Look at Proverbs 22. 6. It says, Train up a child in the way that he should go.What a stark difference. And culture tells us to entertain our kids, but God calls us to equip them. Culture says, keep them happy. God says, make them holy.We're not just raising kids, we're raising souls in a spiritual war zone. Yes, I said it. We're in a spiritual war zone. You better realize that right now, because, honestly, I feel like we're losing a fight most days.Ask yourself this. What's shaping your children more? Your voice or the world's noise? Are we teaching them to think? Are we teaching them just to scroll? Listen to this.The average teenager today. When I've read this, I was stunned. The average teenager today spends 8 hours and 39 minutes every day on screens.Outside of schoolwork, that's a ton of time. Likely more time than they spend sleeping, certainly more time than they spend doing schoolwork. And here's the problem.The CDC tells us that anxiety and depression have doubled among teens in the last decade. Doubled. And Barna research found that only 9% of Christian families open God's word together at least once a week.When I read that statistic, it broke my heart. See, today we call them digital natives. But the truth is, spiritually, many are becoming digital orphans.Now, I know that's strong, but like I said, this is a battle. We've handed them their smartphones before. We've handed them scripture. We've taught them how to connect online, but not how to connect with God.And after 30 years advising families financially, spiritually, and personally, I've learned this technology doesn't shape the heart, it reveals it. And I want to say that again, because you've got to hear that right now before we get going too far. Technology doesn't shape the heart. It reveals it.See, our screens aren't just corrupt and innocence. They're exposing influence. They become the influencer for so many of our children. And that's why we have to lead with wisdom and not fear.Because Faith and wisdom must guide technology, not the other way around. Ask yourself this. What if we stop letting Silicon Valley define our family values?Think about that for a second, because right now, that's what's going on. What if discipleship became as consistent as our WI fi signal? Man, we put a lot of attention into WI fi signals these days.Don't we want to make sure we've got the best WI fi? Because everybody's on it. It would be amazing, wouldn't it, if we put that much effort into discipleship? Let me share this with you.I once worked with a family whose teenage daughter. Listen, if you've got teenage daughters, I feel for you. But they spent every spare minute scrolling social media.And as I was preparing for it, I thought, I remember this. Now, the cool thing is, my kids are a little older. They weren't big into the social media.But if you've got teenagers right now, I bet you know that feeling. And at first it seemed harmless. But soon her confidence began to fade. Comparison stole her joy. Anxiety crept in.And I'll never forget, her parents said to me one day, they said, we're taking one day off. I love what they call it. They called it their tech Free Sunday. No phones, no streaming, just worship meals, conversation and laughter.It was a bold stance. Like I said, this is a spiritual war. And no, their daughter was not happy about the situation. And in so many ways, they had to break an addiction.And if we're being honest here, it's not just the kids with the addiction. I know that one hurt a little bit, didn't it? Because here's the issue. We've got to model the behavior ourselves. Talk about that a little bit later.Getting back to the story. And over time, with this girl, peace returned to their home. Because they didn't just remove technology.See, it's one thing to take it away, but you got to replace it with something. And they replaced it with present. See, that's the key. You know, a lot of people say, well, Ralph, what's the special sauce? That's what it is.That's the answer. Because presence heals what distraction steals. Let me ask you right now, could your home use a tech free sundae? Imagine if you had that.What would God restore if you gave him your attention again? Well, I always want to ground us in scripture. So I got some great scripture verses today. Let's get into God's word together.The first one comes to us from Deuteronomy, chapter 6, verse verses 6 to 7. It says these commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts, impress them on your children.Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Now just so you know, this is Moses. Moses was speaking about the words right before Israel entered the promised land.Now we can be honest with each other. There was no technology distractions back then, right? They didn't have iPhones and Android phones. But he was contending with something else.What Moses was contending with was a world full of idols, a world full of distractions and a world full of competing voices. And see, he wasn't given advice. It'd be one thing to give advice. He was given what I'll call spiritual instructions for faith.Yes, spiritual survival instructions. Like I said, we're in a war. Well how do we do that today? Well to truly impress God's word on our children means to engrave it.If you think about something, when you get it engraved, you go into the metal. That's what we need to do with our children. Well how do you do it? You do it through repetition and through example.Are we engraving God's truth on our kids hearts? Are we just hoping they pick it up by accident? See I think there's a lot of accident happening parents out there right now.And what if fake talk became as natural in our homes as small talk? That one cuts, doesn't it? Well let's move on to Proverbs chapter 4, verse 23. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Now here we're talking about Solomon, probably the wisest man that ever lived. And he was passing down some spiritual wisdom to his son. He said guard your heart. But he didn't say guard your phone.Now he didn't say guard your social media account either because he was wise. And he knew this because whatever gets into the heart eventually is going to come out in behavior being more bold. Garbage in, guess what? Garbage out.So let me ask you this. What's flowing from your family's heart? Are we truly guarding the gates of the soul? Are we just the devices in our hands?See we can filter a website that's kind of easy to do. If we don't filter our desires, that's where our heart will fill with another outlet for sin. Because the heart looks for sin.Lets look at Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.Now I'm going to level with you, this one often Got me into trouble with my boys when they were younger. But think about this now. Paul wrote this from a prison cell. A prison cell. And yet he was teaching others how to lead in love from a prison cell.I never spent any time in prison, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to lead in love from there. But what was he saying? Training daily habits. Instruction correction, wrapped in compassion.I'm not talking about ultimatums here, not shouting or bickering. These are the things that I did wrong. Not threats, but correction with compassion and training. Yes, building a relationship with our kids.Let me say something that might just sting. I truly believe that so many parents have taken the lazy route in this. They've abdicated their role to social media and electronics. Why?Because it's easier and everyone else is doing it. And frankly, you parents, you're doing it too.See, rather than reading the Bible at night, so many families are scrolling TikTok together, just ingesting the poison. Willfully subjecting our children to all sorts of cultural filth. Let me come back now. How often do we correct our kids without connecting first?See, it's easy to shout at them. It's easy to take stuff away from them. If I asked your kids, would they say your discipline feels like guidance or frustration?Because there's a huge difference. And digital parenting is no different than this. Because if you have rules without relationship, guess what happens? Rebellion.I've learned this so many times in my life. It's all about relationships. And it's your choice. In the end. The kids can have a relationship with you or you can give them to their electronics.It's really that simple. Let's look at the book of Romans, my favorite book of the Bible. I love the book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 2. Plain talk about truth.In my view, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. I want to give you some context here. Now, Paul was writing to believers living in a culture obsessed with image.This culture was obsessed with fame, and they were obsessed with power. Does it sound familiar? Just like ours, right? Do you agree with that? And what's he telling us? Don't conform. Don't copy the culture's patterns.We are called to lead by renewal, not reaction. See, it's easy to react, isn't it? But it's hard to practice renewal. That takes consistent effort.What patterns have you accidentally copied from the world? Are your family rhythms shaping faith or shaping and feeding fatigue?Our children don't need perfect parents because if they did, I'd be in trouble because I'm not perfect. If you're listening to my voice right now, you're not perfect either. That's not what they need. They need renewed parents.They need parents who model and think biblically in a noisy world that's trying to distract them. So how do we change the dynamic? How do we win this spiritual war again? It's a war we're in. Honestly, it starts with faith.And I'm going to say something rather harsh. Faith doesn't start in the church building. It starts at the kitchen table. If you're waiting until Sunday to discipline your children, guess what?You've already surrendered six days of the week to the world you've lost. It's got to be. Every dinner, every car ride, every bedtime story is a discipleship moment.What would happen if we reclaim those everyday moments for God? What if you talked about him casually and constantly? What if you let faith feel normal for once? Let scripture sound familiar. Please listen to me.I'm begging you. Discipleship begins at home, not on a screen. Discernment doesn't come by accident. It's got to be taught intentionally. Help your children.Pause before they click. Ask together. Does this honor God? Is this true? Would I be proud to show this to Jesus?See, if you ask those questions, man, it's going to be a huge filter on what you let your kids deal with on these screens. When's the last time you asked your kids those questions? When's the last time you asked yourself those questions? What are you pouring into your soul?See, because technology doesn't create sin. I said this earlier. It just reveals the heart. That phone is a mirror. It's not a maker. What comes out of the heart will show up on the screen.So instead of trying to police every app, teach your kids to guard every attitude. Don't just manage devices, mentor desires. And above all else, remember this. Modeling is more powerful than monitoring.You can't teach your kids to disconnect if they've never seen you unplug. Ouch. Right? Guilty. Guilty. When your child looks at your example, do they see peace or do they see distraction?Because, listen, they follow your actions long before they're ever going to follow your advice. They're sponges. They watch you. They monitor you. They mirror your behaviors. What behaviors are you showing your children? Let's make this practical.I put together a tool to help you remember this. I'm going to use the word raise, R, A, I, S, E. And I'm going to tell you A little bit later how you can download this tool for yourself.But it's simple. Raise r reflect before reacting. Ask this, does this honor God with anything you're looking at? Or reflect? Does this reflect before reacting?Does this honor God? A Ask questions about content. Ask yourself, who benefits from this? What's true about this? I involve your kids. You can't just dictate boundaries.It's never going to work. Your teenage kids are going to reject that. Build them together and s set limits. Limits are important. Kids need limits.They need limits in time, they need limits in place. They need limits and purpose. Because those boundaries, as much as people don't want to agree with this, they build freedom.And e finally, e engage spiritually because there's going to be a vacuum here if you do this right. You got to replace scrolling with scripture and replace distraction with discipleship. You don't have to be perfect again.You don't have to be perfect at this. You just got to be present. So remember, reflect, ask, involve, set, engage. Because that's how we raise discerning children in a digital world.So this week, ask yourself this. Could your family start with just one letter of raise this week? Just one of those letters. Think about the impact that would have.What difference would it make if you simply reflected before reacting? Because it's easy to react. It's got me in trouble many times.Never forget, I was going through a tough season in my life, and I think I shared this on the show about it before. My wife were going through a tough time and we were bickering back and forth, and I found myself constantly reacting.And I bought one of those silicon bracelets and I had it engraved with reflect. And I did it for two reasons. Number one, I wanted to be able to snap that sucker when I felt like my emotions were getting to me.And I'd reach over and I'd just snap it real tight and would say, yo, wait a second, Ralph, don't react. Reflect. And I'd look at that bracelet and I'd see the words reflect. And it worked for me. Now, listen, I know today has been heavy.And if your heart feels heavy right now, you're not alone in this. Listen, I'm a parent, too. My kids are a little bit older now, but I want to take a moment to do a special prayer right now.It's what I want to call a dedication to our families, to the Lord together. Let's pray this with me. Lord, I dedicate my children to you. Help me lead them by example. Let them see truth in my actions.Let them feel love in my tone. Teach me to guide, not just guard to disciple, not just discipline. Give me courage to say no to what steals peace and yes to what builds faith.I ask this in Jesus name, Amen. Ask yourself this, what would happen if every family prayed that this week?Can you imagine a revival that would start right now in our kitchen tables and in our living rooms, Just something that simple. All right, now I want to share some practical actions that you can take today to win this spiritual battle.It's a war, but our children are depending upon us. They need this. First thing I'm going to encourage you to do is create some text free zones in your home. They got to be tech free.I don't know what those are for you. Maybe it's the dinner table, maybe it's their bedroom, maybe it's Sunday worship. But make space where presence matters more than pixels.Nothing you can try is what we call a family screen Sabbath. Just pick one day a week. Every device goes off, man, we don't use them at all.And during that time, worship, serve, read, or just think about going for a walk together as a family. I don't see too many families do that anymore. I remember when I was a kid, man, we used to do that.We'd go for a walk together, we'd talk, we'd laugh, we'd kick around that sort of thing. Here's something for the grandparents out there. It's a great idea. Use FaceTime because your kids, your grandkids are on FaceTime.Well, next time they connect, you read the Bible stories to them instead of just sending those stupid emojis. Just say to them, hey, I found this scripture. I want to read it to you today.If you're a church leader, maybe you can help plan some digital detox weekends where kids just unplug and connect with God. I was at something at a church not too long ago. It was in a big social hall on a Saturday night.And I was amazed the kids weren't playing on their phones. You know why? They had a basket as you came in the door. Check your phone at the door. This church leader got it.These kids were running around, they were sweating, they were having a great time together. There was no devices in sight.And if you're a teenager listening to this right now, and I truly hope you are, do yourself a favor, try one hour a day with no screen time. Put that phone down, put it away. Get a pen and paper out and write something, pray something. Just listen for the ever quiet voice of God.Can you imagine what might change in your home if you simply gave God one undistracted hour a day? Just one hour. Think of all the things he gives you and I tell about you. But I think we owe it to him for just doing that, just one hour.So I want to encourage you this week. Find one place where technology is stealing your family's attention because it's doing it, and replace it with connection.Have one conversation about online wisdom. Ask your kids some tough questions. What they see, what they feel, what confuses them because they're not sure.They just don't know how to ask you the questions. And guide them through love, not lecture. Because one thing is certain.If you go lecture them, if you want to go point your fingers at them and start doing taken away and making ultimatums, you're going to lose the battle. And if you lose many battles, you're going to lose the war. Just guide them with love. Guide them with understanding.Because listen, you've allowed this. You can't blame the children. You've allowed this to happen. And I'm not judging you, but it's about time to take back the reins of this.And this isn't going to be easy, but it's something that needs to be done. Maybe you're listening right now and you feel something stirring deep in your heart.Like, Ralph, I get all this part, but I've got this poor quiet voice just whispering, this is for you today. And maybe you've known about Jesus for years. You've gone to church. I know a lot of people that gone to church. They prayed before.But deep down, you know he hasn't been Lord of your life or for that matter, center of your home. And if you're honest, you're tired. You're tired of trying to hold it all together. You're tired of pretending you're fine when you're really not fine.You're tired of carrying guilt. You're tired of carrying fear. You're tired of carrying the weight of your mistakes. But here's some good news for you.You don't have to carry that anymore. Jesus is right here, right now. He's not angry with you. He's not disappointed in you. He's reaching out with love, with mercy, and with open arms.He's ready to forgive you. He's ready to restore you, and he's ready to make you new. This isn't about religion. People get hung up on that word, religion.It's all about relationship. It's all about surrender. Letting him lead your Life. And starting today, if that's you, I want to encourage you. Don't wait another moment.This is your time. This is your turning point. How about we pray together? And I want you to mean it from the deepest part of your soul. Just pray this.Lord Jesus, I come to you right now, just as I am. I've tried to do my life on my own, and, Lord, I am tired. I need you. I believe you are the Son of God.I believe that you died on the cross for my sins. And I believe that you rose again so I could have true life. And today, right at this moment, I turn from my old ways.Lord, I surrender my heart to you completely. I ask that you would come into my life. Be my savior, be my Lord, and be my best friend. Wash me clean from the inside out, Lord.Heal the parts of me that are broken. Fill me with your peace. Fill me with your power, and fill me with your purpose.Lord, I give you my family, I give you my home, and I give you my future. Lead me in your truth and teach me to walk in your ways. From this day forward, I am yours and you are mine. Thank you for saving me, Jesus.In your name, I pray. Amen. If you just prayed that prayer, I want you to hear this clearly. Because the world will lie to you. You are forgiven.Right at this moment, you are forgiven. You are free, and you are a blessed child of God. The old life is gone, and a brand new chapter begins right at this moment.Welcome to the family of faith. Welcome home. Heaven is celebrating, and truthfully, so am I. So, God bless you and welcome home.Let me ask you one more question before we close out today. What if this moment becomes the turning point for you, your family's future? See, the world wants to discipline your children through screens.They're trying. We're allowing them to do it. But God wants to discipline them through you. Don't ever forget this. The algorithm isn't stronger than the Almighty.The glow of that screen will fade, the batteries will die. But the light of God's word is never going to dim.So maybe today, as you listen, you felt that ache in your heart, that longing to slow life down again, to bring peace back into your home, to sit at the table and hear your children laugh without a device between you. I want you to know something. It's not too late. You haven't missed your moment. You haven't failed as a parent. You have today. And today is holy ground.Right now, this very moment, you can choose to lead your family back to presence, back to purpose and back to peace. You can teach teach your children what the world never will. That true connection isn't found in WI fi signals or social feeds.But true connection is found in faith and family and the quiet voice of a loving God. To help you with that journey, I promised this earlier. I've created a special resource. It's going to be in our Truth Unveiled Community.It's called the Family Digital Wisdom Guide. It's just a one page tool to help you raise family and live this message out with a that R A I S E framework.Simple thing to remember, raise a family prayer and some simple challenges to bring faith back to the center of your home. And you can download it right now by joining our new community. I've talked about this the last couple weeks.You can join our community by going to truthunveiledwithRalph.com/join I don't want your money. I just want your presence again. That's truthunveiledwithralph.com/join inside you're going to find encouragement.You're going to find conversations and you're going to find people just like you and me. Parents who are choosing presence over pressure, faith over fear and connection over distraction.Friend, if you remember nothing else from this message, remember this. Your home is sacred. Your presence is powerful.And the same God who entrusted you with your children will give you everything you need to lead them well. So take a deep breath right now, pray, unplug and walk with your family in the light of his truth.Because even in this digital age, the timeless word of God still has the power to shape this next generation. My name is Ralph. Thank you so much for joining me today. May God Almighty bless you. Have a great day today.