Losing Myself in the Hustle — and Finding God in the Silence

Truth unveiled Light breaking through the dark? Your word remains? When the world falls apart. I stand firm though the culture shifts like sand.Your truth, oh, Lord, is where I choose to stand. Truth unveiled. Truth unveiled.

Hey, friends. Ralph Estep Jr. Here, and I want to welcome you to Truth Unveiled.This is the show where we pull back the curtain on what's really happening in our hearts and in our world. I want to talk about something that hits close to home for me today.I want to share with you a deep story about the hustle that almost stole everything I loved. Picture this. It's midnight. My office light is still on. The streets outside are quiet. Outside of my office, I got paper scattered everywhere.Client files, bank reconciliations, tax forms. I'm an accountant, so that kind of makes sense. I can hear the hum of the printer and I can hear the buzz of those overhead fluorescent lights.I look over at the clock, and it's midnight. And I know I should be home.Jennifer, who's my wife and my boys at the time, maybe three to six years old or fast asleep, but I'm still here, convincing myself that if I just finish one more thing, I'll finally feel caught up. Have you ever told yourself that? I know. So many times I've told myself that. Just one more email. I got one more deadline, one more month of grind.Then I'll have time to rest. And to be honest with you, that's the lie I live for many years. Because as a culture, we celebrate busyness like it's a virtue. You hear it every day.People say, I'm so busy. They used to say, I'm so blessed. But now they're just stuck on I'm so busy. But beneath that hustle is a quiet ache, a longing that peace can't find.Because the world tells us our value is measured by what we produce. That's the lie. Because God measures our hearts by whom we serve. And I didn't see that back then. I was running hard. I was building a business.I was doing all the right things. I was chasing security. And slowly, I was losing my soul. Let me be real with you today. When I started my accounting practice, I felt called to serve.I felt called to help families and small business people find clarity and freedom. That was the heart of what I was doing. But as the firm grew, so did the demands. I started working early mornings, late nights, weekends.And I told myself I was doing it for Jennifer and I was doing it for our two boys, to provide for them, to build a more lasting future, give them the Things that I didn't have. But deep down, as I look at it now, I was chasing something else. I was really chasing approval. I was chasing control and I was chasing validation.Because I was living like my worth was a scorecard of billable hours. Have you ever worked so hard for your family that you ended up losing time with them? That was me. And this is hard to share.I'll never forget the night it broke. I remember coming home after a 14 hour work day. Now, that wasn't very uncommon for me at the time. The house was dark except for the kitchen light.I could see it as I pulled into the driveway. Jennifer was sitting at the kitchen table. I walked in, we glanced at each other and she just looked tired. Not angry, but just heartbroken.She said, ralph, I feel like I've lost you to your work. And I just froze. And honestly, every defense mechanism rose up in me and I felt like shouting, I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it for the boys.I wanted to say that, but in the moment, I looked into her eyes and I saw the truth. She didn't want a provider who was never present. She wanted her husband back. The boys wanted their dad back.And God was quietly whispering, ralph, I want my son back. And I'll never forget. I walked back out of the house and I sat in my car in the driveway because I couldn't go right back inside right away again.I just stared at those dashboard lights and asked myself, how did I get here? Sure, I was helping clients fix their books, but my own life was completely out of balance.I was teaching others how to plan for the future, but I was sacrificing my very present. I was praying for a blessing and ignoring the blesser.Let me ask you, have you ever been so busy doing God's work that you stop spending time with God himself? That was me. And see, my boys started to notice this too. One day, my youngest said, dad, you're always working. I laughed it off, but man, it cut deep.See, because kids don't see intentions, they see absence. That's when I realized that the enemy wasn't trying to make me fail at work. He was trying to make me succeed at the wrong things. The wrong things.See, the truth is, my body was running on empty. My spirit was dry. My family was tired of waiting for me to slow down. I remember sitting at my desk. I pray at my desk some nights.Lord, why do I feel so far from you? And he'd answer with silence, if you've ever heard the Lord answer With silence. That is a deafening sound.Because I was trying to hear God in the noise, I refused to turn off. How could I possibly hear him when the noise was all around me?And what I learned is sometimes God has to allow our hustle to break us before he can heal us. And that's exactly what he did in my life. And I'd love to tell you that was some miraculous thing that happened overnight.But in the weeks that followed, everything started to unravel. My clients were angry with me. Deadlines were slipping. My health was declining. I've shared that on the show before.I was living at the intersection of stress and shame. And then one night, alone in that office again, I finally broke.And in that silence, for the first time in years, I heard the still, small voice of God. I'll never forget it was a Thursday night. I'd always work late on Thursday night, seeing clients. I turned the phones off.The hum of the computers was only just a little sound I could hear in the background. And I was tired. I remember I leaned back in my chair and I'm staring at the ceiling tiles. No music, no noise. I was just exhausted.And I just quietly whispered, God, are you still here? And for the first time in a long time, I stopped talking long enough to actually listen. It's funny how we all fail to do that, isn't it?And that's when I heard it. Now, it wasn't some audible big thing, but it was deep in my spirit. A quiet question.Ralph, when did you start thinking your worth depended on your work? And that cut me like a knife. Because he was right. I was judging my entire worth based on my work. I was lost. And I was scared.I was fearful of what was going to happen next. Because silence can be terrifying. Can it?Because when that noise stops and you finally have to face yourself, in that stillness, man, I saw a truth I wasn't ready for. I'd been serving two masters, God and the grind. And I realized success had become my substitute savior.Have you ever filled your calendar so full that there was no room for Christ? I had done that. And I'll never forget, I put my head down on that desk and I began to weep. I mean, it was audible. I wasn't crying over lost revenue.I was mourning the distance between me and God. Man, there was this huge divide. And in that very moment, he met me there. Not with condemnation, not with some lecture, just with his presence.It felt like a father wrapping his arms around a son who'd finally come home. Sometimes God doesn't Shout. He simply waits for you to stop running. And I remember at that very moment, I grabbed my old Bible from the shelf.And this Bible hadn't been taken off the shelf in a long time. I had to dust the top of it off. I hadn't opened this thing in months. To be honest with you. I probably hadn't opened it in years.And I just put it on my desk. It fell open, and it opened to Colossians. And I looked on the page. Colossians 3, verses 23 and 24.Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. And I was like, that's amazing. And I remember I read it out loud again and again. I was talking to myself.And I suddenly realized my job hadn't been the problem. Those things were fine. My focus was the issue. See, work wasn't the enemy. Idolatry was.What changes when we stop working for people's praise and start working for God's glory, Everything changes. And then I flipped over to Genesis, and Genesis, chapter 2, verse 15 popped up.The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work and take care of it. That verse hit me like a wave because I realized something. Work existed before sin. This was in the Garden of Eden, before there was sin introduced.It was part of paradise. Yes, believe it or not, work is part of God's plan of paradise. See, God gave us the gift of purpose before the curse of pain.And I needed to hear that that night. And I just whispered, lord, teach me how to make this holy again. And I remember that night, I grabbed my journal. I had started doing some journaling.I didn't put a lot of time into it. I wrote one line in my journal. I wrote, I'm not working for a living. I'm working for a Lord. And from that very moment, something began to shift.Now, I didn't quit my job. I didn't sell the practice. I didn't go away and pretend like I couldn't work anymore.What I had done is I invited Jesus back into my life, back into my business. I started praying before every meeting. I started asking God to bless every client conversation. I started dedicating each task as worship.And an amazing thing happened. The stress didn't vanish. It was still stressful. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it wasn't. But striving vanished.And I Started to feel this peace in the same place that used to drain me. Could it be that peace you've been praying for isn't found in changing your job? I hear so many people say, ralph, I'm praying for a new job.I'm praying for a new atmosphere. But maybe that peace you've been praying for is all about changing your heart. Because everything radiates from that. I remember I got home that night.Jennifer was waiting. The boys were already asleep. The boys were young at this time. And I told Jennifer, I said, jennifer, I think I finally got this.I think God finally got through to me. She looked at me like I was crazy, to be honest with you. Cautious but hopeful, I guess more like, what are you talking about, Ralph?But I quickly followed up and I said, I'm sorry for the nights I wasn't here. I'm sorry for the moments I chose emails over eyes that love me. For all those precious moments with her and the boys that I'd missed.And it finally hit me. I was missing it all. And we both just stared there and cried. Now, I'd love to tell you that that night fixed everything. It didn't.But it started a process of healing. Because when I finally slowed down, I gave my family something they hadn't seen in a long time. And that was my presence.Sorry I'm getting a little emotional today, but this is emotional for me. Let's get into some scripture now. Let's look at. Right at the Book of Proverbs, chapter 16, verse 3.Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. That's right, from Proverbs 16:3. This verse became our family verse. We prayed over the business, we prayed over meals, we prayed over our boys.Homework. Yes. The kids started thinking he was funny. He's like, we're praying about homework, Dad. I said, yes, we need to center ourselves again.It became a rhythm of our life. It became a rhythm of our family. We committed, we worked, we rest, and we repeated. And slowly, over time, peace started replacing pressure.You see, friend, God never called us to escape work. He called us to redeem it.He wants to turn your desk into an altar, your hands into instruments of worship, and your deadlines into divine appointments. But it starts in that silence. That moment you stop performing and start listening.When was the last time you sat long enough to hear the whisper of God? Maybe he's been waiting for this exact moment. Now, the next part of this, I want to show you how God didn't just restore my peace.I told you, it didn't happen overnight. He redefined my purpose. I want to share with you five truths that rebuilt my life.Because it's one thing to share my story, and I hope it's helped you. But I want you to experience that same redemption wherever you are, whatever work you do.And I remember the morning after that long night with my wife. I woke up before the alarm. Hey, man. I was ready to go. The sun was just coming over the pastor's behind our house. I poured a cup of tea.I don't drink coffee. I poured a cup of tea. I sat at the kitchen table, and I opened that Bible again. And I remember Jennifer came down the stairs.And for the first time in a while, I didn't feel the need to rush. I wasn't trying to get to the office super early. And she smiled and she thought. And I thought, this is what peace feels like.It wasn't the absence of work, but the presence of God in the work. And that morning became a new chapter for me. And that's what I want so much for you as you listen right now. God didn't erase my responsibilities.He redefined them. He took the same hands that once clutched anxiety and turned them into hands that serve with joy. Do you serve with joy?He took that same offer that once felt like a prison and made it a platform for ministry. See, that's what happens when you stop hustling for your worth and start resting in his. Let me share five truths that rebuilt my life.These truths that changed everything for me. I call them the pillars of redeemed work. And each one reshaped how I see my job, how I see my family, and I see my faith.Number one thing, work is worship. The first truth that God showed me is simple, but it's radical. Work isn't separate from worship. It is worship.For so many years, I used to think I had to leave my Bible on the shelf when I picked up my calculator. But I know every spreadsheet, every payroll, every tax return can glorify him when done, with integrity and love. Because your work is your altar.We each have an altar. And when I start my day now, I whisper this, Lord, this is for you. It changes everything. And even those hard days become holy ground.There's a man in my church who repairs air conditioners. He told me he prays over every unit before he leaves somebody's house. He says, if one family sleeps better tonight. Ralph, I did that with God.That's worship. What if your office desk was as sacred as your church pew? Second thing, purpose matters more than position. For years I chased titles.I wanted to be the senior partner. I wanted to be the CEO, the owner. But those titles didn't fill me. What fills you isn't what's on your door. It isn't the plaque on your door.It's what's in your heart. It's who's in your heart even bigger, because I've met janitors who radiate joy and executives who are hollow shells.So many executives are just hollow shells. Just empty frames. No purpose, no direction. Fulfillment doesn't come from the ladder you climb. It comes from the cross you carry.I'm going to say that again because you've got to hear that fulfillment doesn't come from the ladder you climb. It comes from the cross you carry. What cross are you carrying? I remember one client, a landscaper named Glenn, tell me.He said, ralph, I just cut grass. I said, no, Glenn, you create beauty out of chaos and you steward God's earth. And I don't forget. He looked at me and he smiled.He said, I never thought of that way. Ralph. It's all about perspective. Could it be that you've been chasing promotion when God's been offering purpose? How many of us have done that?Let's be honest for a minute. We've been chasing promotion, but God's given you the purpose. He's putting it right in front of you.The third truth, faithfulness, always outweighs fame. When I was grinding through 80 hour weeks, I was chasing applause. I never heard it, but let me tell you something right now.I don't want to burst your bubble, but God's not impressed by applause. He's not impressed by followers. He's not impressed by your money. He's not impressed by those things.What God is impressed by, what God is moved by, is obedience. Tell you about a woman in our church. She cleans offices at night. Not a glamorous job, but an important one. And she told me she prays over every desk.She said, ralph, maybe no one sees me, but I truly think God does. She just goes from desk to desk and she's praying for the person that sits at that desk. And I said to her, I encourage. I said, you're right.Heaven notices those things. And that conversation with her changed me. Because let me ask you this. Would you still give your best if no one ever noticed, would you do it?God is noticing that because that's what faithfulness looks like. The fourth truth I want to share. Your labor carries eternal impact. We tend to separate Sacred from the secular.Sunday is holy, but hey, Monday, wrath. That's survival. But in God's kingdom, guess what? There's no divide. Think about this for a second.Jesus spent most of his life as a carpenter, working with his hands sweating in a workshop. We don't hear about that in Scripture, do we? But that means our everyday work can also carry divine purpose.I once had a client, a nurse, who told me, ralph, sometimes I feel like all I do is chart paperwork. I get it. I've never been a nurse, but I see a lot of charting going on. I said, no, no.What you don't understand is you bring compassion into rooms that smell like fear. You ever been in a hospital? There's a lot of smell of fear there.And I said to this nurse, because she's a Christian woman, I said, you carry the presence of Christ into every hospital room that you visit. People see that you are pushing Christ on them. You're pushing Christ all around them. And I just saw her eyes light up. Something came alive in her.You're not just earning a paycheck. You're planting eternal seeds that you may never see grow up to full fruition. The fifth truth is the one I fought the hardest.And honestly, I'm still battling this one. Rest isn't laziness. It's obedience. See, for many years, I thought rest was for weak people. Oh, I don't need to rest. I can just push. I'm young.I can do this. That Sabbath, that was optional for us high performers. But God rested. Not because he was tired. Listen, God doesn't get tired.But he was teaching us something. He was teaching us to stop trying to be Him. And when I started protecting one day a week, something miraculous happened. Jennifer noticed.My boys noticed. Even my clients noticed. I was calmer. I was more present. I was more human. I learned that when you honor God's rhythm, he multiplies your results.Are you willing to trust God can do more with your six days than you can do in seven? Now, those five truths didn't make life easier. They made it more meaningful. Work still gets stressful.But now I know the difference between exhaustion and emptiness. See, exhaustion comes from giving your best. Emptiness comes from giving it to the wrong master. And I refuse to go back serving that old master.Who are you really working for? Who are you really working for? That question changed my life, and I believe it can change yours.So let me remind you the verses that rebuilt my heart. Colossians 3, 23, verses 23 and 24 Work as unto the Lord. Genesis 2:15. Work is a gift, not a curse.Proverbs 16, 3, Commit your work to God, and He will establish your plans. And Ephesians 2:10. You were created for good works, prepared in advance by God himself. Those truths aren't theory. They're my testimony.And I began to reclaim small things first. Family dinners, unplanned weekends, evening prayers that my boys are like, what is dad doing? He's praying with us. Jennifer told me one night.She said, I feel like we've got you back. And I said, you do, and I've got him back. And that's when I realized something. God didn't want to take my work away.He wanted to take his rightful place in it. And, friend, maybe you're listening right now and you're tired. You've given everything to your job, and it still feels like it's not enough.You're successful, sure, but you're so starving. You're loved, but you feel distant. You're busy, but you're bored. I've been there. And I can tell you this. Peace isn't found in a promotion.It's never going to be found there. It's found in presence. And that presence is God's presence. He wants to meet you in the middle of your Monday and remind you you are not what you do.You are whose you are. And in a moment, I want to pray with you. But before I do, ask yourself this. What part of your work have you kept for yourself?That part you think God doesn't care about? The messy, the mundane, or the frustrating part? That's exactly the place he wants to touch and redeem.Because when you surrender that he'll meet you there. I want you to take a deep breath right now, wherever you are, I want you to close your eyes, if you can.I want you to feel the weight of the week resting on your shoulders and let it start to slide off. Because this is holy ground. Right now, right here, right now. You don't have to earn God's approval. You already have his att.He sees you behind that desk. He sees you in that truck. He sees you in folding laundry, running payroll, chasing deadlines.And he's whispering this, my child, your work matters to me. Let's pray together. I don't want you to. Just listen. Pray with me out loud. Father, we've been running hard. We've been chasing success.We've been chasing peace. We've been chasing work. Today, we stop running. We lay every spreadsheet, every tool, every schedule at your feet. We give you our anxiety.We give you our pride, we give you our exhaustion. Teach us to see our work as worship, to find joy in serving you through what we do. Heal our homes when neglect has crept in.Restore laughter at our tables and rest on our hearts. Remind us that we're not defined by what we do, but by who you are in us. And I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.Now, maybe you've been listening today and thank you for listening to me. I'm so happy you join me. You realize you've been working for God, but not with him.And maybe you've built a good life, a great life, maybe, but not a surrendered one. And something deep inside you knows it's time. It's time to stop striving. It's time to start living with purpose.And it's time to invite Jesus not into your Sunday only, but into your Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, if that's you. I want you to pray with me right now. Lord Jesus, I've been chasing the world's approval for too long. I built my life around performance and pressure.But right now, Lord, I surrender. Lord, forgive me for putting work above you. I ask you right now to come into my heart. Be my Savior, be my peace, be my purpose.Teach me to walk with you in every part of life. At home, at work, in rest, in worship. I give my life, Lord, to you. I trust you completely. And I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.If you prayed that prayer, I just want to welcome you to the family of faith. Heaven rejoices and so do I. And here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to begin your mornings with a short prayer.Lord, I work for you today. I want you to reclaim those evenings. Put that phone away. Be present with the people. God's entrusted you.God has entrusted you with beautiful people all around you. You owe it to them. Give them your attention. And take one Sabbath hour, just one, to sit in silence and listen. Let God remind you who you are.And when you do that, I want to encourage you to write me, tell me what. What he's showing you. Join our growing family at TruthunveiledwithRalph.com./join again. That's Truth unveiledwithRalph.com.i would love to hear your story. Because, friend, listen to me. God isn't finished with your story. He's not ashamed of your hustle. He just wants to redeem it.Those same hands that built your career can now build his kingdom. That same voice that once complained about Mondays can now speak.Blessings over your co workers you don't have to choose between success and surrender. You can have both when you place them in his hands. Jennifer and I and our boys were living proof of that.We found peace not by walking away from work, but by walking with God in it. And you can do so wherever you go today. Go with purpose. Go with joy. Go knowing that your labor is never in vain when it's done in love.And if today's message has moved you, I want to encourage you share it with a friend who's exhausted in searching.Remember, join us@truthunveiledwithralph.com/join for more messages, more resources, and a community of believers learning to live, work and rest God's way. So until next time, be strong, be faithful, and keep unveiling truth, one conversation at a time. God bless you, my friend.